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Behold Drunkspin's 2014 Bastard Of The Year
As we wind down the most successful year in Drunkspin's long and storied history of being your no. 1 source for under-informed beer reviews and gratuitous Yuengling hatred, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for your support and, at the same time, apologize for violating your trust....

Anchor Christmas Ale 2014: Great Tradition, Mediocre Year
My family is woefully short on Christmas traditions. This is largely due to our being a small unit consisting of zero children or Christians, the two things that seem to make this particular holiday go 'round. But we like kids and Christs just fine, and everybody likes days off in the middle of the ...

Great Beer From Wisconsin's Best Brewery
"Best Of" lists are stupid and awesome, and so is beer, which is why I've had such a good time compiling the Drunkspin Beers of the Year. I'll lay that on you sometime next week, but for now, let's confine the arbitrary declarations to just one state....

Blue Moon's Winter Beer Is A Fine Gateway Drug, As Usual
For all the inroads American craft beer has made in the past decade, the 10 best-selling domestic brewskis are all still owned by either Anheuser-Busch InBev or SABMiller. The two-headed, yellow-fizz-pissing monster achieves this market dominance through the traditional means of aggressive advertisi...

Dan Patrick's Session Beer For Bros Will Fill Up Your Passion Bucket
Last year Red Hook teamed up with television and radio personality Dan Patrick to produce Audible Ale, which they proudly trumpet as "the ultimate craft beer for watching sports." What confers this ultamism? The marketing material suggests it's derived primarily from Audible's "crushable" status, ...

More Proof That Anheuser-Busch Hates You, Me, And Nature's Finest Fruit
Apples are the best fruit, because in addition to being delicious, they are also versatile. Apples can be juiced, pied, carameled, candied, fermented, distilled, cidered, crisped, jacked, brown bettied!, eaten plain without a fuss like you're some kind of goddamn health monster determined to live ...

Dogfish 120 Minute IPA Is America's Classiest One-Beer Buzz
I've been drinking irresponsibly lately, by which I mean all of the usual things, but also that I've been forgetting to use the stupid notebook in which I differentiate between beers with "strong grapefruit character" and those that merely display "pronounced citrus notes." I draw little trees next ...

Here's An Underrated IPA From A Properly Rated State
New Hampshire is often overlooked by my fellow Massachusettsian beer-drinkers and life-lovers, and this is a shame. All we tend to know about the Granite (or Marble?) State is that there's no sales tax but high property tax (or perhaps vice versa), and it's got either a nice, long coastline or, if t...

This Kansas City Beer Bravely Triumphs Over Its Hippie-Trash Name
My wife and I got stuck in traffic on the way back from Western Massachusetts Sunday afternoon, which almost prevented us from seeing kickoff of the Patriots' 21-26 victory over those lucky (and terrifyingly good) Packers. But rather than risk missing the beginning of the game—or the whole game, or ...

Drink This And Celebrate Christmas Like A True Pennsylvanian
I finished the leftover turkey yesterday, which means today is Christmas. Tomorrow, barring anything unforeseen, will also be Christmas, as will each remaining day of 2014. Fine by me....

Goose Island BCBS: Trophy Beer That's Worth The Chase
A couple of weeks ago, one of my old day-drunk buddies brought another of our kind into the bar. That was notable, because we don't get a lot of new blood, not even the kind of new blood that is basically the same old blood wrapped up in a different bag of scum and bones....

Bars, Ranked
There are many different types of bar in which a person can drink alcohol. The order in which I prefer them is presented below....

Here's Yet Another Good Beer With A Stupid Name
I never get to name anything. My wife picked Cindy Lou Who for the cat (perfect name, perfect cat, no complaints), and some editor or another overruled my attempt to call this column Drinkspin instead of Drunkspin. I lobbied for the more dignified approach, but whoever runs this show knew they cou...

Dunkin Donuts Has A Fake Cronut Now. Don't Wait In Line For It.
There's a famous study that suggests that the ability to delay gratification is among the most important determinants in whether a person will have a successful life. A Stanford professor gave hundreds of kindergarteners the option of one marshmallow now or two marshmallows in 15 minutes, recorded...

This Is The Best Store-Brand Beer
My wife is very thrifty and low-maintenance, so for the first two years of our relationship, I resisted pointing out that we could buy two yachts or pay off our student loans if she'd just please switch from Advil to a generic pain reliever. It was frustrating, but she doesn't ask for much, so I fig...

Is This Beer Really Worth $200 A Bottle?
It's tricky to argue about what something's worth, because there's rarely an objective answer. A few baseball teams are currently debating whether Pablo Sandoval, a charming fat man who hits very well in the playoffs and a bit above average the rest of the time, is worth $90 million dollars for th...

This Coffee Milk Stout Is The Pride Of New England
A couple of months ago, Business Wire reported that Pabst was on the verge of being sold to a Russian beverage company. My initial reaction was, "There's gotta be a good Putin-hipster-gulag joke in here somewhere," followed by apathy when I realized that you can't make a good joke about a society ...

Foster's: Australian For Fraud
My 11th-grade history teacher opened the first day of class by asking us to write down everything we knew about Christopher Columbus. Of course, we all knew he came to America—or somewhere near America, anyway—in 1492, and his ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. The better st...

Sour Beer: The San Francisco Treat
Is beer food? That's a deceptively complex question. At first, you're like, "Of course beer is food, because it's made of barley and wheat and other edible plants," but then you realize that you don't chew beer, and food is something strongly associated with chewing. But wait, soup! Soup is definite...

Coors, The Original Trophy Beer (!?), Is Making A Comeback
'Tis the season when lazy bloggers start thinking about how to recycle a year's worth of crap into the awful-yet-beloved "Best Of" lists that allow us to expend as little energy as possible while keeping the internet fed over the holidays. I'll surely do my part with a Best Beers I Drank In 2014 i...