Barry Zito Ties The Knot, Looks Ridiculous In Wedding Photo

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!

• Meet Barry Zito's new lifelong yoga partner, Amber Seyer. The Giants lefty tied the knot with the former Miss Missouri this past weekend. We're sure she's looking forward to nursing Zito back from his assorted injuries for the next 50 years.

• So remember how the Marlins's offer to Albert Pujols was a bullshit PR stunt? We may have gotten that one wrong. In a meeting with Pujols's esteemed agent, Dan Lozano, the Marlins apparently upped their offer to 10 years. The actual figures are still unknown, but it's probably time we start taking Miami seriously.

• Lozano had some meetings with the Cardinals and the Cubs, too.

• More bad news for Cardinals fans: The backup plan for losing Pujols may not be as foolproof as we thought it was.

• C.J. Wilson's old high school is really close to the Angels' ballpark. [ESPN Insider]

• Terry Francona will be doing Bobby Valentine's old job next season.

• Hanley Ramirez isn't happy about having to make room for Jose Reyes.

• The Blue Jays acquired closer Sergio Santos from the White Sox for a pitcher with some crazy minor league stats.

• Twins GM Terry Ryan is wheeling and dealing as if he never left Minneapolis.

• Manny Being Desperate.

• Ken Rosenthal throws some shit against the wall.