Baseball Page 1018 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Buster Posey Invents Cool New Way To Slide Into Base
With the game tied 7-7 in the 11th inning, Buster Posey made it from first to third on a Brandon Crawford single. He also tried to eat third base in the process....

Diamondbacks Try To Squeeze More Money From Taxpayers; County Supervisor Tells Team To Screw Themselves<em></em>
The Diamondbacks have been playing in their current ballpark since 1998. Their stadium cost $364 million to build, and Maricopa County picked up $238 million of the tab. Eighteen years later, it is need of some repairs, and the fight over who is going to pay for them has gotten ugly....

ESPN Dipshit To English-Speaking Ichiro: Speak English!!!
ESPN SportsCenter anchor and former WWE commentator Todd Grisham, who fancies himself a tough man, has a tough message for True Hit King Ichiro: This is America, learn some English!...

Mike Trout Gets Way Up To Rob A Grand Slam
Hello, it’s time once again for a check-in with Mike Trout, that guy who continues to be the best player in baseball despite wasting away on a crap-ass Angels roster....

The Cardinals Lost Their 53rd Game
The Atlanta Braves scored six runs in the first two innings Sunday as they defeated the St. Louis Cardinals, 6-3....

Ichiro Joins 3,000 Hit Club With Triple
Ichiro Suzuki, the true Hit King, joined Paul Molitor as the only member of the 3,000 Hit Club to do so with a triple when he did so in the top of the seventh inning today in Denver....

Miguel Sano Pop-Up Hits Roof, Gets Caught
Twins third baseman Miguel Sano earned a dubious honor today, becoming the first player to ever hit the roof of the Tampa Bay Rays stadium in fair territory:...

The Cardinals Lost Their 52nd Game
The lowly Atlanta Braves earned their 40th win of the season Saturday as they drubbed the St. Louis Cardinals, 13-5....

Sobbing A-Rod Announces The Yankees Are Ending His Career<em></em><em></em>
The New York Yankees called a press conference this morning to announce that Alex Rodriguez’s career as a Yankee will end next week. His final game will be on Friday against the Rays, after which the Yankees will release him, and he will retire and become a “special advisor and instructor” to the cl...

J.D. Martinez Nails Jay Bruce At The Plate To End Game
Jay Bruce tested J.D. Martinez, and that was a bad idea. Down a run, with two men on with two outs in the ninth inning, the Mets’ Travis d’Arnaud hit a grounder through the right side. Bruce steamed around third, and Tigers right fielder Martinez came up throwing:...

Giancarlo Stanton Just Jerked The Mightiest Dong Of The Season
Are you sitting down? Okay....

Report: A's Employee Installed Secret Locker Room Camera To Spy On Players
According to a report from Yahoo Sports’ Tim Brown, Oakland A’s strength and conditioning coach Michael Henriques installed a secret camera inside the A’s weight room in order to spy on players. Henriques apparently installed the camera on July 24, and a player discovered it the next day. Union rep ...

This Appreciation Of Mark Teixeira Didn't Come Easily
Mark Teixeira is going to announce his retirement this afternoon, effective at the end of this season. I’m the Yankees fan on staff, so when the news came out, Ley asked me what my favorite Tex moment was. I was at a loss....

Padres Chairman Continues To Shit On Players Who Didn't Live Up To His Expectations
There are a lot of big dumb assholes involved in major league baseball. This guy, for example. For whatever reason, Padres executive chairman Ron Fowler, an old man nobody had ever heard of until a few months ago, has decided that 2016 is the year in which he attempts to become the biggest, dumbest ...

Coco Crisp Leaps For Topsy-Turvy Home Run Robbery
Ji-Man Choi has spent this evening’s game hitting the daylights out of the baseball. He dinged a solo dong to right center in the second inning, then followed it up with a three-run shot to the right field corner....

The Cardinals Lost Their 51st Game
Mike Leake endured a rough start Thursday as the Cincinnati Reds blanked the St. Louis Cardinals, 7-0....

J.D. Martinez Returns From DL, Pinch-Hits, Socks A Strong Home Run On First Pitch
Detroit Tigers outfielder J.D. Martinez has been out of commission since June 16 after he fractured his elbow and went on the disabled list. In Wednesday’s game against the Chicago White Sox, Martinez made his return in the form of an eighth-inning pinch-hit appearance, and he got the most out of it...

I'm Inspired By This Popcorn Vendor
Innovation is real and strong and it’s my friend....

Get A Load Of This Heinous, Game-Losing Wild Pitch
With the Miami Marlins leading the Cubs by two runs heading into the bottom, Don Mattingly brought in A.J. Ramos. Immediately, everything went to shit....

Joey Votto Owned Me
On June 1, Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto had a triple slash of .213/.330/.404. I wrote an article expressing the opinion that, at the time, he was bad. A lot has changed since then. Joey Votto, like he did to the buffoon in the Reds shirt at last night’s game, has owned me....