Baseball Page 1226 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Barry Zito Ties The Knot, Looks Ridiculous In Wedding Photo
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Brian Cashman The Elf, Ken Rosenthal The Ninja, And Other Rumblings Around The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

What Losing Jose Reyes Really Means For Mets Fans
In eighth grade I wrote a poem about Jose Reyes, the Miami Marlins' new shortstop. The poem wasn't so good. I wrote it in Reyes's gregarious broken English, in which every third utterance is "you know" or "man." But I had to write something quickly for a class, and in April 2005, nothing captivated ...

Ken Rosenthal: Jose Reyes And Marlins Agree On $106M Deal
Yeah, it is Ken Rosenthal, but it sounds like this shit may stick....

Atlanta Braves Reliever Burns Nickelback On Twitter And Nickelback Fires Back
Peter Moylan is a reliever for the Atlanta Braves, apparently. I follow the greatest franchise in the history of sports, so you know, he's not really on my radar. Anyway, this Moylan guy must have gotten back from a Foo Fighters concert and decided Nickelback needed a kick in the ass. The tweet rea...

Tommy Lasorda Needs To Be "In The Right Fuckin' Frame Of Mind" To Do Something
Here you can see a lively and virile Tommy Lasorda chewing out some hapless camera crew for wasting his time with a bunch of amateur mistakes, no doubt. It's as if none of these guys have ever worked on TV before, the fuckin' assholes....

Mike Napoli's Replacement, David DeJesus's Excited Wife, And Other Developments On The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...

David DeJesus Is A Cub, More News About Royals Relievers, And Other Rumblings From the Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...

Checking In With Albert Pujols's Agent, Who Threatened To Sue Us Before He Knew What We Were Going To Write
A week ago we published some not very nice things about superagent Dan Lozano, but not before we were threatened with a lawsuit. Hours before publishing, Lozano's attorney issued itemized denials of a handful of facts we included in our story—and denials of many more that we did not. ...

The Baseball Hall Of Fame Ballot Is Out, And It Seems No One Good Retired In 2006
The fine folks at the Baseball Hall of Fame mailed out their ballots today, and I immediately called our travel agent just to threaten her with litigation if she even thinks about getting me a hotel in Cooperstown next summer....

Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is A Modest $59.55 This Month
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

The Rays' New Rape Problem
The Tampa Bay Rays just traded for Mariners reliever Josh Lueke, a righty who's undervalued because he dodged a rape charge a few years back. Our resident Rays fan, Mobutu Sese Seko, is not pleased. TB brass is advised to read his debunking of the various pro-Lueke factions sooner rather than later....

Jeff Francoeur Enticed Jonathan Broxton By Taking Him Hunting At Jeff Foxworthy's House
We brought you the preliminary details of this courtship in HOTFUCKINGSTOVE yesterday, but we buried the lead. Jeff Francoeur didn't just lure fatass reclamation project du jour Jonathan Broxton to the Kansas City Royals by taking him on a bow-hunting trip. Francoeur lured Broxton by taking him on a...

ShortCenter: Bobby Valentine Brings Accountability, Fake Mustache To The Red Sox
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Bobby Valentine Is The New Manager Of The Boston Red Sox
Logically, as one man accused of presiding over a boozy clubhouse leaves town, one accused of presiding over a gang of loafing potheads enters....

Jim Kaat Has A Very Reasonable Take On Not Being In The Hall Of Fame
Kaat today, on MLB Network with Bob Costas:...

Fielder and Pujols Could Be Cubs, Jonathan Broxton Makes The Decision, And Other Hot Stove Developments
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...

C.J. Wilson In Miami, An Accused Rapist In Tampa Bay, And Other Hot Fucking Stove Developments
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...

Grady Sizemore Will Stay in Cleveland, John Baker’s Psyched To Be A Padre, And Other Rumblings From The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...

MLB Makes It A Little More Comfortable To Be Gay
The biggest talking point in MLB's new collective bargaining agreement is draft slotting, which paradoxically penalizes certain small-market teams by limiting signing bonuses. Opinions are split, but everyone can agree that if this is the biggest controversy, baseball's in a million times better sha...