Baseball Page 1324 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Youky Lands A Hot One, But There's A Hitch
Where women are concerned, I've always lived my life by a simple rule: Lips which have touched Ben Affleck shall never touch mine. Kevin Youkilis has no such qualms, apparently. The Red Sock got hitched on Tuesday to the lovely Enza Sambataro — Affleck's ex-girlfriend — in front of 120 friends and f...
Fun With Babies: More Horrifying Tales From The Phillies Parade
Just like Vietnam, it may be decades before the entire tragic picture of the Phillies victory parade finally comes into focus. More disturbing details emerge each day, including this video, in which this excitable Phils fan can't stop fist-pumping, and in the process nearly jettisons his kid. But...
Piazza Convinces Publisher That His Life Story Is Entertainingly Heterosexual
One of my good friends from high school had the opportunity to work out with the Dodgers during spring training in the mid-90s. He said the experience in the locker room was memorable because Ramon Martinez swung his penis around like a gangster's pocket watch and that Mike Piazza had the most disgu...
Saying Farewell To The Tuba Man
Seattle is known for its characters, from the guy who waited in line outdoors for four months to see one of the Star Wars prequels, to artists who create giant freeway trolls, the city has always embraced the odd and the colorful. But one of those unique voices has been silenced, sadly. I used to se...
Diamondbacks Lay Off Dozens of Employees (Not Including Adam Dunn)
The purge of off-field employees has started in earnest this Credit Crunch offseason, with the Arizona Diamondbacks releasing 31 employees (around 10% of the entire front office), mostly from the broadcast side of the business as a result of selling all their games to Fox Sports Arizona. Yet again, ...
Beckett, Lester Take Aim at Charity (and Pull Trigger)
Josh Beckett, putative Red Sox ace, believes the best charity comes at the end of a shotgun. Therefore, he has gathered all his rowdy friends (including fellow hurler Jon Lester-Who-Once-Had-Cancer, comedian Bill Engvall, and singer Troy Gentry) to his ranch this weekend, where they will hold the fi...
All-Purpose Pitching Machine Also Teaches Kids Not to Lie
We had this one really hard teacher in junior high. You know the type of teacher that thinks they're preparing you for the harsh realities of adulthood through tough love, including random screaming and no late papers and picking books about four grades higher than your class' skill set and wonderin...
Rinku And Dinesh Go To White Castle The Majors
Not since Apu quit the Kwik-E-Mart have we seen a more unlikely story involving people from India. Meet Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, a pair of teenagers with dreams of playing Major League baseball. It was Walkoff Walk which first introduced the sporting blogosphere to these guys back in May, when ...
Derek Jeter's Glove is Only Useful For Fielding Trim
Poor Derek Jeter. Even with his professional achievements and world wide popularity, he always seems to be getting dogged by seamhead geeks trying in earnest to convince baseball fans the man is just not that good. The latest swipe comes from the 2008 Fielding Bible Awards, a panel comprised of nine...
96 ... 97 ... 98 ... 99 ...
Most Cubs fans know that since 1995, the Lakeview Baseball Club has maintained a Cubs Futility Odometer on its building on Sheffield Avenue, across the street from Wrigley. The sign marks the number of years since the Cubs have won a division title, NL pennant and World Series; the latter number, of...
Philadephians Could Care Less About Chase Utley Swearing
Late yesterday, we posted a video of Chase Utley performing a more-than-casual swear at the Phillies victory celebration, pronouncing to the crowd that the team was now "world fucking champions!" As you can imagine, Philadelphians were none too pleased about the man introducing such a profane word ...
Intolerable Ballpark Abuse: Featuring Drunkeness, Assault, And The Cutting Insults Of Von Hayes
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Jeff Kent Has Had Enough Of Your Gayness
Despite sporting the best gay porn 'stache in the majors today, Jeff Kent on Thursday girded his loins took a stand against gay marriage; scribbling a check for $15,000 to the Yes on Proposition 8 people. The California proposition would ban same-sex marriage by imposing a California constitutional ...
Begun, The Manny Bidding Wars Have
It was highly entertaining when the New York Post reported late last night that the Dodgers had offered Manny Ramirez $60 million over two years; which would have made him the highest-paid baseball player in history. The claim is highly dubious, coming as it did minutes before Ramirez declared free ...
Gentlemen, Start Your Hangovers
God only knows where Daulerio is or what he's doing at this hour; hopefully he wasn't involved in the carnage above. Was that a bus shelter? Anyway, the last I heard from him was in a garbled cell phone message, screaming something about attending today's Phillies' victory parade. So don't be surpri...
Us Did It! Phillies Are World Series Champions
They sure took their sweet time, but after the most adrenaline-packed three-and-a-half innings of baseball all year (maybe ever?) the Phillies take the lead twice, with the second one sticking for a 4-3 victory, vanquishing the Tampa Bay Rays in five games. Geoff Jenkins led off the game with a pinc...
World Series Game Five Live Blog 33-1/3: The Final Insult
Last time on "World Series Test Cricket," our Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays were tied 2-2 in the middle of the 6th inning. Please slip on the underwear you adorned on Tuesday (or, if you want to be accurate, Monday) and jump like it's October 27th. * * *Top 9th 3 ...
Mystery Phillies Bud Selig Chastiser Identified! (We Think)
Three sources have come forward to reveal the identity of the mystery Philadelphia Phillie responsible for the now-famous quote about Bud Selig on Monday. Upon seeing Selig in the Phillies' clubhouse following the postponement of Game 5 due to rain, a Phillies pitcher looked at him and said: "That f...
Puny Philadelphians; You Will Never Stop The Carnival Cruise Six-Story Piñata Of Doom
Despite its wish not to jinx the Phillies by prematurely planning a World Series victory parade, the City of Philadelphia tipped its hand on Tuesday in the most unlikely of ways; by disrespecting the world's largest piñata. It seems that Carnival Cruise Lines has spent months planning a huge event i...
Time To Play: Guess Which Phillie Ripped Bud Selig?
Generally I don't use anonymous quotes, unless it's concerning something really big, like when a member of the Phillies sees Bud Selig in the clubhouse following the Game 5 rain delay and utters the immortal line: "I wouldn't let him supervise one of my shits." Who is this mystery poet? Personally m...