Please Refrain From Humping The $1.5 Billion Stadium, Thank You

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Last night in an exhibition game, the Yankees and the Cubs broke the pro ball cherry of The New Yankee Stadium (boy are we gonna get sick of hearing those four words strung together). The Yankees won 7-4, because they are the Yankees and those are the Cubs and that's how these things work. Sure, it's only exhibition/spring training baseball, but come on, Cubbies - was it really necessary to play like it was the 1932 World Series all over again? Yankees fans are predictably overeager and classy about their new shrine to capitalism, as evidenced above. It's just a stadium, dude. It's no substitute for your Staten Island princess at home.

Sorry to mix up baseball references, but in the words of Hawk Harrelson, "sit back, relax, and strap it down." We're just getting started. Feel free to tip your Weekend Editor via email at [email protected]/[email protected] or via Twitter at @petegaines. I'm social media-savvy like that. This Just In: The New Yankee Stadium Is F____ing Sick [Fack Youk]