MLB Page 1131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Perhaps The Red Sox Are Struggling Because David Ortiz Is Attempting To Steal Bases
The Boston Red Sox are 0-3 and (as of this writing) losing again tonight to the Toronto Blue Jays, against whom David Ortiz attempted to steal second base in the seventh inning of tonight's matchup. Ortiz, who reached on a single, apparently took matters into his own hands in trying to spark the ...

It Will Be Hard, But Not Impossible, To Get Drunk At The Blue Jays' Home Opener
A reminder to Blue Jays fans that you should probably get hammered before going through the turnstiles tonight, as the Rogers Centre will be severely curtailing beer sales since you've proven you can't hold your alcohol. Look at you. You're a drunken sloppy mess and you're never going to make anythi...

Here's How Four Broadcast Teams Described The Orioles Streaker On Friday
The ad hoc policy to not televise fans who run onto the field during baseball games is intended to discourage copycats, though its effectiveness is debatable at best. Yet while viewers may be blind to the rogue fan's activities, announcers can't resist providing their own take on the action....

This Rare Photo, Up For Auction, Was Stolen From The Baseball Hall Of Fame
This rare photo of Nap Lajoie is expected to fetch $15,000 at auction, and it's stolen from the Hall of Fame. Finding that out is as easy as looking on the back....

The Marlins Have Become The (Original) Kings Of Comedy
The Miami Marlins are 1-3 so far in their dream season. They'd be fifth in the NL East if not for the fact that an NL East team (Atlanta) had to play the New York JuggerMets and consequently didn't win a game. Their manager offended, like, half of Miami. Someone's squatting on their domain name. The...

Here's What $78 Worth Of Hot Dogs Looks Like
We wrote a few weeks ago about the Texas Rangers' $26 hot dogs, and the ESPN crew decided to order a few up to the booth during last night's broadcast. If all three of those were consumed in their entirety, I have to imagine the pressbox was a pretty miserable place to be by the end of the ballgame...

The New Season Has Its First Walkoff Homer, And It Capped Off A Classic Red Sox Meltdown
The promise of a new season hasn't shown much inspiration for the Boston Red Sox, as the disappointment at how last season ended has been reflected in their first three games of 2012: all of them losses, and two of them in walkoffs....

Derek Holland's Hairstyle This Season Is Simply Absurd
WARNING: Do not look at this picture if you have a fear of clowns. Ah, shit. You already looked, didn't you? Sorry about that....
![Peanuts, Cracker Jack, And Chaw: This Young Rangers Fan Is A Spitting Image Of Dad [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Peanuts, Cracker Jack, And Chaw: This Young Rangers Fan Is A Spitting Image Of Dad [UPDATE]
It's just a few days into the baseball season, but we're already reminded that some of the best action takes place in the stands, not on the field. Here's an example, as a young Rangers supporter takes after his father both in physical resemblance and, it appears, in the use of smokeless tobacco....

The New York Mets Remain Undefeated
In what has to be the story of the Major League Baseball season, the New York Mets continued their undefeated streak. For the Mets, it surely is a story of redemption in a season in which most prognosticators gave them no chance to compete. Yet here they are, raking their way through the NL East. T...

Nolan Ryan And Robin Ventura Exchanged Pleasantries Yesterday
For the first time since participating in the glorified noogie seen 'round the world, Nolan Ryan and newly-minted White Sox manager Robin Ventura met up with each other prior to the Rangers home opener against Chicago. Ryan, the face of the Rangers franchise, and Ventura have somehow never crossed ...
![Camden Yards Streaker Was Clad In Undies And A Cape [Update: It May Have Been Batman]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17isrz24pb5vyjpg.jpg)
Camden Yards Streaker Was Clad In Undies And A Cape [Update: It May Have Been Batman]
Videos and photos are emerging from today's Orioles game that shows what may have been the introduction of Charm City's newest crusader for justice. Or maybe just a drunk kid who had a cape in the garage. Baseball's back!...

An Oral History Of Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill
Last month, Broward County’s wastewater services instituted password protection, meaning former MLB outfielder Oddibe McDowell’s water bill is no longer a matter of public record. To commemorate the 13-month joyride of transparency, Deadspin has commissioned an oral history. This is the story of Odd...

"Motherfuckin' Shit! Take Your Ass Home!" Or, Why The Baltimore Orioles Matter
The best night of the 2011 baseball season in Baltimore was the final one. For once, for the first time in years, the whole country was watching. And what it saw was a thing of joy. There were the Boston Red Sox, all $161 million worth of them, one out away from a 3-2 victory and, at worst, a one-ga...

Amateur Hour For Drunks: A Dispatch From Opening Day In America
(This article was originally published at DesigNate Robertson. Photos by the author.)...

0% Of Cubs Fans Polled Expect Their Team To Make The Playoffs
Cubs fans are already despondent after yesterday's 2-1 loss to the Nationals. In other words, they're gotten an early jump on behaving like Cubs fans. Here's a poll from Chicago news station CLTV aired last evening, in which nary a single believer in a Cubs postseason could be found. Obviously, t...

Pirates Fan Sleeps His Way Through Opening Day
Yesterday was the start of a new season of baseball in Pittsburgh, and that means the promise of another 90-loss summer. The fan in the yellow hat just over the left shoulder of Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz just couldn't contain his excitement....

Jeffrey Loria Had A Marlins Park Cake With Swarovski Crystals And A Working Retractable Roof
After trotting out Muhammad Ali like a show pony, the Marlins owner welcomed friends and colleagues to his luxury suite on opening night with this cake: a custom made replica of Marlins Park. That bigass logo? It's 3,600 crystals. Probably worth more than your life. I swear to god, this thing better...

Better Know An Umpire: Brian Gorman
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year....
