MLB Page 1136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Giants Eject Angels Scout From The Ballpark, And Now Everybody's Angry
You might not realize it, but the most interesting place in the baseball universe is Scottsdale, Arizona. Last week saw a mass bee attack hold up a Giants game, and yesterday brought us our first feud of the 2012 season as Giants manager Bruce Bochy kicked out an Angels scout....

The Data Behind Yu Darvish's Brief But Devastating Debut
Texas Rangers hurler Yu Darvish made quite the spring training debut today against the San Diego Padres. (Of course, he cost the team more than $107 million, spent the last seven years pitching competitively in Japan, and these were the Padres, so you'd think he would do OK.) Still, thanks to some f...

Does Peyton Manning In A Yankees Jersey Mean He's Thinking About Playing For The Jets?
Or is the fact that he was 5 years old at the time just mean he's ready to conquer kindergarten? Also, Archie's pants....

Lenny Dykstra's Accountant Wanted To Launch A Charlie Sheen Energy Drink
The latest issue of Sports Illustrated has a feature by David Epstein about the human flotsam that is Lenny Dykstra, who was sentenced on Monday to three years in California state prison after pleading no contest to grand theft auto and filing a false financial statement. Epstein spoke with an LAPD ...

Marlins President Calls Miamians Stupid, Jose Reyes Greedy
If you know anything about the sweetheart deal the city gave the Marlins to build a new stadium, you know team president David Samson basically bent Miami over a pinball machine and had his way with it. But he's far from done with the humiliation—with his remarks to a gathering of local business lea...

Cubs Win! Cubs Win (A Video Game-Induced, Alternate Universe World Series)!
Sony's new ad campaign for MLB 12 The Show hinges on the tagline, "So real, it's unreal." Apparently, that includes the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series, thanks to some Michael Bay-worthy special effects....

Davey Johnson Has Nicknamed Drew Storen "Tinkerbell"
Johnson, the Nationals' manager, picked the name because Storen, the team's closer, has a tendency to tweak his delivery. All well and good. And plenty of swell options for entry music....

ESPN's Keith Law Is A Fan Of Bad Spring Training Twitpics, Unless It Involves One Of His Bad Spring Training Twitpics
We told you two weeks ago about the hilarity that is Bad Spring Training Twitpics, the site that's collecting all the bad art being snapped by the cameraphones of the many baseball writers now roaming around spring training. That same day, Keith Law let his many Twitter followers know he was also a ...

Aw, Hell, Here's One More Tim Kurkjian Imitation From Rays Infielder Elliot Johnson
With Linsanity dying out, we needed something new. Call it Kurkjianomie....

Red Sox Minor Leaguer Pete Ruiz Has His Own Tim Kurkjian Impression
It's more understated than Blue Jays catcher J.P. Arencibia's, we'll argue. Arencibia's is perhaps funnier—he brought Kurkjian's voice to a comically high pitch—but Ruiz's seems more precise. He's Darrell Hammond to Arencibia's Will Ferrell....

Marlins Players Think Trippy Home Run Structure Could Distract Hitters
The colorfully gaudy sculpture, which will do this when the Marlins hit a home run, will be positioned in left-center field, where it could be in the field of vision of left-handed batters. [Miami Herald]...

Inside The Spring Training Market For $4 Porn
Excerpted from former Padre and Blue Jay Dirk Hayhurst's splendid new book, Out of My League, a true chronicle of life as a pitcher bouncing between the minor leagues and the show. Some names have been changed....

Ike Davis Probably Has Valley Fever, New York Mets Continue To Be Incapable Of Catching A Break
Ike Davis has Valley Fever. Or at least that is what the Mets are saying Ike may have. In light of Mets team doctors' track record, though, it is probably safe to assume it's likely much, much worse....

The Nationals Have "Natitude," And Stephen Strasburg Is Starting To Think "Dynasty"
There are legitimate reasons for the Washington Nationals to think they're ready to contend this season: Stephen Strasburg, Ryan Zimmerman, and Bryce Harper are healthy; and Edwin Jackson and Gio Gonzalez have been brought in to help the cause. But Strasburg is already looking past contending—he's a...

This Just Might Be The A-Rod Photo To End All A-Rod Photos
At least until he brings his own food into the men's room and has his girlfriend feed it to him as he kisses the mirror. But only then....

Brien Taylor, Former Yankees Superstar-To-Be, Arrested On Cocaine Trafficking Charges
Brien Taylor, the can't-miss prospect who missed, was arrested yesterday on a whole mess of drug charges. This comes after an undercover operation by the Carteret County (NC) Sheriff's Office, in which cops allegedly purchased large quantities of crack and cocaine from him....

A.J. Burnett Will Miss 2 To 3 Months Because He Broke His Face Trying To Bunt
Burnett fractured his orbital bone when this happened on Wednesday, and he had to have surgery this morning. Best-case scenario has him out of the rotation until early May, which means Erik Bedard will likely be the Bucs' Opening Day starter. It's only been a few weeks since the trade, but it's alre...

Watch Tim Kurkjian Watch J.P. Arencibia Do His Tim Kurkjian Impression
The voice is dead on. Either the Blue Jays catcher is a master of impersonation, or he's squeezing his testicles between his knees....

Minor Leaguer Suspended For Refusing Drug Test Says Testers Went To The Wrong Address: "I'm 28 Years Old. I Don't Live With My Mom!"
Yesterday, MLB announced that minor leaguer Justin Dowdy is suspended for 50 games for refusing to take a drug test. Dowdy, a former White Sox pick who spent most of last season with the Giants' AAA Fresno Grizzlies, signed last month with the independent Grand Prairie (Texas) AirHogs and so will ha...

Now A.J. Burnett Is Officially A Pirate: He Hurt Himself Bunting A Ball Off His Face
Pirates manager Clint Hurdle's affection for the bunt is such that he once had his cleanup hitter do it last season with the go-ahead run on first—and in a game in which that cleanup hitter already had two hits. Hurdle holds an annual bunting tournament in spring training, and yesterday, this is w...