MLB Page 849 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Reds And Rockies Decide To Suck All At Once
Baseball presents its players with infinite ways in which to humiliate themselves, and they often do. But rare is the occasion on which we are given the tasty treat of multiple baseball players embarrassing themselves on the very same play. Take it away, Reds and Rockies:...

Chowdahead On The Field At Fenway Park Gets Blindsided By Security In The Outfield<em></em>
An idiot on the field at Fenway Park during tonight’s Tigers-Red Sox game made it all the way to center field in his mad dash to ... well, I don’t know exactly. Whatever he was looking for, I don’t think it was a security guard takedown as bone-shaking as this one:...

Luke Heimlich Didn't Get Drafted
Oregon State pitcher Luke Heimlich, the MLB prospect who pleaded guilty to sexually abusing his niece in 2012, went unpicked on the final day of the MLB Draft this year, as every major-league team passed on him over the course of 40 rounds. For the time being, at least, it appears that the majors ha...

Andrew Heaney Got Doused In A Glorious Ice Bucket Dump
There are few better birthday gifts a starting pitcher could ask for than the 23rd-in-OPS Kansas City Royals lineup, which is exactly what the Angels’ Andrew Heaney got for his 27th birthday last night. He threw the first shutout of his career, a one-hit gem in a 1-0 win, and was then treated to one...

Javy Baez Ruins Sweatshirt, Also Gets An Out
In the ninth inning of an otherwise pretty blah Cubs loss, Chicago shortstop Javier Baez made a daredevil catch along the Steve Bartman wall at Wrigley Field. The out came at the cost of a Cubs fan’s beer and his previously clean sweatshirt, but it was a worthy sacrifice for an acrobatic play....

Every J.D. Martinez Swing Is Terrifying
Red Sox slugger J.D. Martinez became the first player to 20 home runs tonight, hitting the dong milestone with a high, deep fly to centerfield against his old team the Tigers. It was only the beginning of his reign of terror....

Giancarlo Stanton Still Isn't A Fan Of The Guy Who Broke His Face
It’s a marvel that Giancarlo Stanton had his face destroyed by a baseball pitch in 2014 and still has a career in the sport. He’s not even a shadow of himself, but still a powerful, sometimes overly aggressive hitter who now wears a c-flap on his helmet for added protection. In the second game of Mo...

Even For Aaron Judge, Eight Strikeouts Is A Lot!
The Yankees knew what they were signing up for when they brought together Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton in the heart of their order. There would be stretches of pure pyrotechnic dong-mashing spectacle and there would also be days marked by multiple sullen trips back to the dugout, during which g...

Kumar Rocker, Seth Beer, Owen Sharts, And The Future Of The American Baseball Name
There are some people who follow college baseball because a publication or faintly queasy-making subscription-only scouting service or Major League Baseball team pays them to do it. There is a slightly larger group of people who follow it recreationally, apparently, and while I have definitely never...

The Yankees Are Pissed At ESPN
It’s barely June, and the New York Yankees have had seven games postponed due to rain or snow, plus one game suspended in the sixth inning. That means more rest early in the season (when they’re not sleeping on an airport floor), but a whole bunch of games to make up later in the year, be it double ...

Michael Wacha Blows Ninth Inning No-Hitter For The Second Time In His Career
For the second time in his career, Cardinals pitcher Michael Wacha carried a no-hitter into the ninth inning of a major league baseball game, today at home against the Pirates. And for the second time in his career, a lousy softly-hit single spoiled his shot at history. Three outs away from the 11th...

Action Hero Bradley Zimmer Lays Out For Tremendous Diving Grab
Ryan LaMarre of the Twins smashed a ball deep to left center in the second inning of today’s Indians-Twins game, where it very much had the look of a standup RBI double. That was before Indians centerfielder Bradley Zimmer came soaring in for the acrobatic highlight grab:...

Giancarlo Stanton Blesses Bachelorette Party With Healthy Dong
Giancarlo Stanton viciously smote a poor baseball into the right field stands in Camden Yards Saturday, where it was gathered by the overjoyed members of a bachelorette party wearing “Team Bride” hats:...

Max Scherzer Saves The Day With Timely Hitting, Wait What
It will mean absolutely nothing to you to be told that Max Scherzer was a key contributor in a narrow Nationals win over the Atlanta Braves Saturday night. No shit, he’s their best pitcher and their best player, you are saying to an indifferent computer screen, like a true online psycho. Oh ho! This...

Gnarly Rougned Odor Takeout Slide Sparks Benches-Clearing Hullabaloo
Benches cleared for a bustling group therapy session after Rougned Odor tried and failed to break up a game-ending double play Friday night by sliding in wide and with his spikes up on the relay from Andrelton Simmons:...


Peyton Manning Denies Claim In Court Filings That Peyton Manning Was Source For Peyton Manning PED Allegations<em></em>
Unsealed court papers claim Peyton Manning’s lawyers “confirmed much of what” a source told Al Jazeera about the retired NFL quarterback’s alleged PED usage along with that of MLBers Ryan Zimmerman and Ryan Howard, who are suing the network over claims made in the 2015 report....

Danny Farquhar Gives First Interview Since Brain Hemorrhage
Here’s some nice news: White Sox reliever Danny Farquhar, who suffered a brain hemorrhage in the dugout during an April game, gave his first interview since returning home from the hospital. He sat down with Good Morning America on Friday to talk about his recovery for the first time, and while it’s...

Let's Remember Some Guys, Big Box Full Of Garbage, Volume III
You can’t really know what your life’s great work will be when you begin it. Our days are full to overfull with work, but so little of that feels important. This is not to say that all of it is bullshit, although for most everyone some significant portion of it is invariably bullshit. It’s just tha...
