Giancarlo Stanton Blesses Bachelorette Party With Healthy Dong

Giancarlo Stanton viciously smote a poor baseball into the right field stands in Camden Yards Saturday, where it was gathered by the overjoyed members of a bachelorette party wearing “Team Bride” hats:

Stanton is still having a shitty season—the mid-May run that saw him collect at least one hit in 12 of 13 games, and briefly brought his slugging percentage above .500, is long gone, and he’s back to slashing a measly .248/.324/.470—but this healthy dinger gave the Yankees an early 4-1 lead over the lousy Orioles, and they went on to win, 8-5.