MLB Page 929 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

D.C. City Council Owns Self

“What have you done for us, D.C. City Council?” asked the Nationals fan. “Well,” said the City Council, “we’ve ponied up over $700 million dollars to buy a stadium for a billionaire.”...

Alleged Beer-Throwing Blue Jays Fan Turns Himself In

Ken Pagan, the man identified by the Toronto Police Service as the dreaded beer thrower, turned himself in to police this afternoon around 7:15 p.m. Eastern Time. Per a release from the TPS, he has been arrested and charged with mischief....

Indians Slap Three Dongs In Nine Pitches

The Cleveland Indians were down a run to the Boston Red Sox in the third inning of this evening’s game. Within a nine-pitch span, they went from trailing 2-1 to leading 4-2 after Roberto Pérez, Jason Kipnis, and Francisco Lindor all slapped solo dongs to right field....

French Announcer Absolutely Loses His Shit Calling Melvin Upton Jr.'s Big Dinger [Update]

Zut alors! Le dinger!!!...

Angels Pitcher Matt Shoemaker To Consider Wearing Protective Headgear

Angels starter Matt Shoemaker missed the final month of the season after being struck in the head by a 105-mph line drive. He underwent surgery to stop the bleeding in his skull, and is now healthy enough to pitch again. In an interview with Good Morning America, Shoemaker expressed a willingness to...

Root For The Indians In The Playoffs<em></em>

Welcome to the American League Central Division, home of the Cleveland Indians. Each year, one team from this division is selected completely at random to compete in the playoffs. If you are a fan of a team in the AL Central, where chaos rules, nothing surprises you. You would not be surprised, for ...

Root For The Rangers In The Playoffs

The Texas Rangers finished with a 95-67 record, winning the AL West while nine games clear of the second-place Seattle Mariners. The lack of competition within the division, and thus the lack of a late-season race for the playoffs, may have kept the Rangers mostly off your radar this season. Now’s ...

I Still Can't Believe Madison Bumgarner Is Real

I’m largely fine with MLB’s play-in game, but there remains something almost cosmically unfair about having to win a one-game series when the opposing team can start Madison Bumgarner. ...

Astros Apologize For Minor Leaguer's Shitheaded Tweet

Brooks Marlow is a baseball player in the Astros minor league system. He would kindly like these lady broadcasters out of his face. Get off ESPN, lady broadcaster, game’s on! ...

Madison Bumgarner Remains A Postseason Demigod

The San Francisco Giants are headed to the NLDS once again, after Madison Bumgarner shut down the Mets and the offense managed a lone moment of competence tonight to get the team a 3-0 win. The Even Year Gods have smiled down on the Giants once again, and they’re headed to Chicago just a few short w...

Here's The Guy That Toronto Police Say Threw A Beer On The Field Last Night [Update]

It looks like a ghost was, in fact, not responsible for throwing that beer can at Hyun Soo Kim last night. This afternoon, the Toronto Police released a photo of the guy they say did it, and he looks like a henchman of ill repute. They released a short statement along with the photo:...

This Is The Closest We've Gotten To Finding The Beer-Throwing Blue Jays Fan

The police have not yet identified the shithead Blue Jays fan that tossed a beer at Hyun Soo Kim last night, who the team said was able to slink off into the night before security could apprehend them. This, despite the rigorous work done by certified expert internet investigators such as myself. Wh...

Rob Manfred On Not Paying Minor Leaguers A Living Wage: "It's Not Really About The Money"

The bipartisan “Save America’s Pastime Act,” introduced over the summer, is some simmering, unconscionable bullshit that doesn’t even try all that hard to hide its Disney villain-esque desire to portray the fate of Baseball At Large as antithetical to paying its employees a living wage. What it actu...

We’re simulating tonight’s National League wild card game between the Giants and the Mets in Baseball Stars for NES, and it’s LIVE:...

I Covered The Braves For A Newspaper That Didn't Exist

When my sportswriter friend asked me, back in September of 2000, if I wanted to join him at an Atlanta Braves game that he was working, my first thought was, “That sounds fun!” When he suggested that I use an outdated photographer’s pass he had in his possession, issued for a different game vs. a d...

Root For The Mets In The Playoffs

The 2015 National League champions coasted on a sea of subpar second-place teams to home field advantage in the bullshit crapshoot that is the one-game wild card playoff (can’t wait!). More than half of their Opening Day bevy of shampoo-commercial starters have been sidelined with injury but between...

Root For The Giants In The Playoffs

Here we are again. ...

Buck Showalter Fucked Up

I watched Buck Showalter neglect to use his lights-out closer in the ninth and tenth and eleventh innings of a tied, loser-goes-home baseball game, and I watched it work for two of those innings! All I can say is: I’ve seen people at the blackjack table hit on 17 and get 21, too. I’ve never seen any...

Edwin Encarnacion Hit A Walk-Off To Goddamn Mars To Put The Blue Jays Through

The Blue Jays beat the Orioles in the eleventh inning of tonight’s Wild Card game thanks to a huge three-run dinger from Edwin Encarnacion. Encarnacion was the third batter that Ubaldo Jimenez faced after he came into the game with one out in the eleventh. He allowed both baserunners to reach on sin...