MLB Page 989 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brett Lawrie Really Sucked Last Night

Athletics third baseman Brett Lawrie had an efficient game Tuesday night, in the worst way. He struck out four times—all swinging—on 12 pitches. ...

A Gently Annotated List Of Washington Nationals Promos And Giveaways

Previously: The Baltimore Orioles....

Just Prince Fielder, Doing Some Squats With A Rougned On His Back

Prince Fielder’s new pregame workout routine sure looks like a lot of fun....

The Rockies Are Going To Sock Some Goddamn Dingers This Year

Hey! The Colorado Rockies might be really fun this year. Take it from me, a Rockies fan who is super reasonable and not at all still riding the high of yesterday’s 10-0 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers....

Ned Yost Warns Trainer Not To Lose His ALCS Ring During Rectal Exams

The Kansas City Royals received their 2014 AL Championship rings before opening the season against the White Sox yesterday, and manager Ned Yost had some helpful advice for the team’s head athletic trainer. ...

Aaron Harang's Eyes Implanted Into Various MLB Players' Faces

Deadspin readers have overwhelmingly demanded to know what it would look like if various major leaguers had pitcher Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. In the interest of service to you, the reader, we present various major leaguers with Aaron Harang’s distinctive eyes. ...

The Marlins Had A Rain Delay Because They Didn't Close The Roof [Update]

Congratulations to the Miami Marlins on finding a way to stop their first game of the season with a rain delay, despite having a stadium with a roof. They are pioneers. Pioneers who didn’t close their roof....

It’s Opening Day, a good time to remind you to subscribe to Michael Brendan Dougherty’s excellent daily baseball newsletter, The Slurve, which is great at keeping you up to date and filtering out the crap. Head on over and you can try it out for free. [The Slurve]...

This Is Not How You Throw Back A Home Run

Edwin Encarnacion homered to left to put the Blue Jays up 5-0 in the third. One Yankees fan—really not far from the field—attempted to show her disdain for the ball by tossing it back. It went poorly: ...

The Anarchist Of Summer: A D.C. Rabble Rouser Returns To Baseball

Adam Eidinger has gone right at City Hall, the Republican and Democratic Parties, the war machine, the World Bank, the DEA, countless developers, and, most famously, Major League Baseball. His fights tend to end with him getting his ass kicked—and not just figuratively. ...

Remember When Congress Used To Hold Dumbass Baseball Hearings?

Reason.tv, looking for a way to celebrate opening day, put together this fun video recounting the United States government’s odd affinity for holding very official hearings to discuss the issues plaguing Major League Baseball. ...

Keith Law Will Find You If You Repost His ESPN Insider Articles

As an ESPN Insider, Keith Law has his articles tucked behind a paywall. You need a subscription to get those MLB nuggets. A couple of Braves fans on Reddit who wanted to read about the latest trade tried to circumvent the Insider tag by posting the article for everyone to read. Law tracked them down...

"An Absolute Shit Show": Tales From The Wrigley Field Bathroom Lines

Despite the Cubs’ increasingly emphatic insistence otherwise, Wrigley Field was not ready for opening day. Even beyond the expected absence of bleachers, the stadium’s infrastructure was apparently overwhelmed by the gameday crowd, with bathroom lines stretching through the concourse and back out i...

Fans At Wrigley Field Are Resorting To Peeing In Cups

We’ve been chronicling the hilarity of the Cubs’ attempts to renovate Wrigley Field this offseason, but things took a dark turn as the park opened for its first game Sunday night. An anonymous tipster sent us the above photo with the following explanation:...

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MLB Finds Jarred Cosart Placed Bets, But Not On Baseball

It only took MLB investigators about a week to get to the bottom of Marlins pitcher Jarred Cosart’s betting habits, after his spot got blown up on Twitter. The conclusion: dude bets on sports with a bookie, which is technically illegal but not against MLB rules, but never bets on baseball, which wou...

The Pittsburgh Pirates Should Be America's Team This Season 

There’s nothing America loves more than a winner who has suffered and, Lord knows, the Pittsburgh Pirates have suffered. Twenty losing seasons in a row. The Pittsburgh drug trials. The cobbled-together public ownership that ended up $22 million in debt. Talented player after talented player leaving...

Josh Hamilton Will Not Be Suspended For Relapse [Update]

With MLB and union appointees deadlocked on the issue of whether Josh Hamilton’s relapse was a suspendable offense, the decision fell to an independent arbitrator. The arbitrator has made the call: Hamilton didn’t violate the terms of his treatment program, will not be punished, and is eligible to p...

Bo Jackson Had To Explain Who He Was To This Dumb Child

Bo Jackson has been hanging out at the White Sox spring training facility this year, acting as an instructor and imparting wisdom on dumb young people. Today’s lessons was for Drake LaRoche, the teenaged son of White Sox first baseman Adam LaRoche, who needed a little crash course on who exactly Bo...