Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Bees Invade Red Sox-Yankees Game; America Roots For Bees

This was not the bee attack we have long feared. This was merely another test. They are probing us, assessing our defenses, noting our responses, learning our weaknesses. The Great Man-Bee War is coming, but not today.

This afternoon's game between the Red Sox and Yankees in Tampa was delayed for seven minutes in the third inning on account of a big-ass swarm of bees in left field. Reaction was mixed. Mark Teixeira's grand plan, according to Joe Girardi, was to create a trail of honey to lead the bees out of the stadium.


Yankees radio man John Sterling's solution? Well...

One poor bastard of a grounds crew member was sent out to face the swarm with a can of insect spray. He was ineffective. Eventually, he was joined by his co-workers, and together they drove the bees off. Or did the bees leave of their own accord? Yes they did. To plot.

There will be limited room in my Nunavut compound when the bees finally make their move, so please submit a list of your mechanical/agricultural skills if you'd like to take refuge.

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