Behold Sicnarf Loopstok, Runner-Up Of The Carolina League Home Run Derby 

Tonight’s Carolina League Home Run Derby was, as always, the year’s premier display of lower minor league power hitting on the East Coast. Glorious! But this year’s event brought us more than dingers. This year brought us Sicnarf Loopstok.

Cast your gaze upon the runner-up! Sicnarf Loopstok. The 24-year-old catcher from Cleveland’s farm system hit 30 bombs in the first two rounds before falling just short in the finals with 14 home runs to the 15 of Brewers prospect Jake Gatewood. Sicnarf Loopstok.

Currently with the Lynchburg Hillcats after being drafted in the 13th round by Cleveland in 2013, he grew up in Aruba before moving to the U.S. as a teenager and attending Western Oklahoma State College. Sicnarf Loopstok. If you’re thinking that his name would be better if spelled backwards, you’re onto something; his father, Francis, got Sicnarf by spelling his own name backwards. Sicnarf Loopstok. After hitting five or fewer home runs in each of his first three seasons, he has a career-high eight home runs this year—and now some lovely memories of coming very close to a home run derby championship. Sicnarf Loopstok.

Rougned Odor, Socrates Brito, Damien Magnifico—I do not care. Sicnarf Loopstok.