Bobby Abreu's Otherworldly Restraint

All right, now, we pay pretty close attention to this sports business. (We do it for a living, after all.) But we'll fess up: We had heard nothing about this Bobby Abreu story from last month. Maybe it's because we don't watch Spanish language TV. But still.

Here's the details, if you're as in the dark as we were. The Phillies outfielder — enjoying the greatest season of his career, by the way; right around the time this story broke, he hit homers in six consecutive games — was engaged to former Miss Universe Alicia Machado. In May, she appeared on a Mexican reality television show called "La Granga (The Farm)" and, in a video you can find on Limewire, had sex with a fellow cast member . Needless to say, Abreu was not a fan of this — as Jason Mulgrew points out, Latin men tend not to handle such matters well — called off the engagement and subsequently went on his homer barrage. We still think this might have been cooked up by Phillies general manager Ed Wade and manager Charlie Manuel, like in Fast Times at Ridgemont High,j when they smashed Louis' car right before the football game. But we still can't believe we hadn't heard about this, mostly.

Machado: People Support Me In Spite Of Porn Video [Quepasa News] Abreu Calls Off Engagement [Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel] Alicia Machado Video Screenshots [PeterPaulXXX] Love, Lust And Betrayal [Jason Mulgrew]