Bobby Cox On The Brink Of History

Bobby Cox tied the all-time Major League Baseball ejections record last night, getting tossed in a 2-1 loss against the Tigers. That makes a total of 131 for Cox, tying John McGraw, who was tossed 117 times as a manager and 14 more as a player.

The problem here is that while Cox gets himself worked up into a froth pretty often, none of his ejections have been particularly memorable. I'd like to propose a few ways for him to get thrown out a record 132nd time, ensuring that it will be an occasion we'd all remember.

• Eschew the argument all together and take the field wearing a hat that reads, "UMP, YOU'RE A COCKSUCKER."

• In a game where the Braves are having trouble hitting the opposing pitcher, handcuff yourself to said pitcher and swallow the key before proceeding with a tirade that ensures your ejection.

• Get a plastic blow-up doll, write "MRS. JOHN HIRSCHBECK" across her back with a black Sharpie, drag it out to the pitchers mound, and penetrate it with a Louisville Slugger.

• Hope that Barry Bonds eclipses Hank Aaron's record in the Giants' July 23-26th series against Atlanta, tackle Barry as he rounds third on the historic home run, and repeatedly punch him in the face and scream, "THIS IS FOR HANK!"

Cox ties McGraw for ejections record [Savannah Morning News]