Bryce Harper Hit This Pitch To Goddamn Saturn

If you throw that fastball as straight as an arrow and lay it right over the middle of the plate, you’re liable to watch it fly all the way out of the ballpark. Bud Norris did just that against Bryce Harper, who proceeded to jerk a big dong to the third deck.

That’s about as close as a ball can get to leaving the stadium without actually exiting. The Nats are whooping the Dodgers, thanks to Harper’s dong and Trea Turner stealing home.