It doesn't take a psychic to see the Pirates aren't going to get better. But The Amazing Kreskin is offering his services anyway.

Kreskin, like many of us, only became aware of the Bucs this season after the racing pierogi debacle. The mentalist (not to be confused with THE MENTALIST!) wants to turn things around, but can only do so if he's put in charge.

First: exile Neal Huntington and John Russell for the next couple of years.

I'm not saying that we fire these two guys. I think they should be given a vacation in Tibet for two years. In Tibet, or perhaps Uruguay, or someplace very, very comfortable," said Kreskin.


Second: use the power of suggestion to convince the Pirates that they don't have to be losers. Actually, hypnotism isn't the worst idea for running a team. Whatever the front office has been doing for the last 18 years, that's the worst idea for running a team.

Mentalist: I can make The Pittsburgh Pirates win [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]