Cell Phone-Bosomed Paraguay Girl Is The Star Of The World Cup So Far

You can be happy, the rest of your life, with a Paraguay Girl. Even the Italians, who had to settle for a troubling tie from the scrappy republic known primarily for its political unrest and its chief export, mandals.
So, sorry Italians and those of you in World Cup auctions who were banking on the easy three-point win this afternoon. Just look at how happy she is? That's top-heavy, bottomless joy, right there.

[Pics courtesy this guy's Twitter. Tip courtesy Jovan J.]
**** Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Dash in a jiffy.


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