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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Combustible White Girls Get Tossed From Knicks Game For "Keeping It Real"

Illustration for article titled Combustible White Girls Get Tossed From Knicks Game For Keeping It Real

We've all been at sporting events where some nearby fans get a little out of control. And at last night's Knicks game, things went absurdly awry for one particular group of female attendees.


So let's begin with a little backstory. The light-haired woman pictured in the photo is a person named "Leah" who is founder and "HEAD BITCH" (according to her business card) of the Married To The Mob streetwear clothing line. She and three other "M.O.B" members went to MSG last night to cheer on their hometown Knicks and yell at Kobe Bryant. Things went a little haywire. M.O.B member Tabatha gives a complete rundown of how she, Leah, and two other ladies managed to get kicked out of last night's game and almost spend the night in jail. Enjoy. Oh, and [Sic'd].

"Yesterday the Garden got quite a taste of the M.O.B. Leah, Sarah, Melody, and myself had ill row g seats to last nights devastating Knicks vs. Kobe (eat shit) game. We were pretty pumped up, first ever game, probably one of the illest games of the season to have tix to. So in front of us are four pretentious little homos playing on their blackberries and covering their ears every time one of us yells 'defense' or 'fuck that, pass it to lee! fuck kobe!',"who like bitch, go to a library if you want quiet. At one point dude turns to me and shows me David Lee's contact on his phone. Cool dude, we can phone book battle anyday..."


Stop. Now, this is always a tough situation to be in. I appreciate people enthusiastically yelling at games. You're supposed to yell at games. That's what fans do. However, this is a nightmare scenario for most guys: having four noisy boozed-up chicks sitting behind you who take heckling to an extreme. This is a no-win situation. Especially with these ladies. Here's why:

"Anyway, eventually one of the guys who kept sucking his teeth and annoying my eyes with his little scarf (worn Kanye fashion week style of course) told Sarah to stop screaming in his ear. I guess she went la-la or something in his ear and he told her to shut the fuck up. Sarah is like my baby bear cub and I am the grizzly mother bear that instinctively must attack in her honor. So I got up and gave dude a nice love tap on the grill followed by cursing and one of their own going to get security. We were over it quick and got back to the score when all the sudden some huge security guard comes to our row and tells us to bounce. We angrily pick up our shit and I individually tell each guy they suck and finish the deal by pouring an overpriced shitty beverage on the guy who mouthed off to sarah's head."

What exactly constitutes a "nice love tap on the grill" is anyone's guess. But it's not like the Knicks were taking on a scrubby team from the East — this is Kobe and the Lakers on a night when he had, you know, a pretty good game. Homo-scarf probably wanted to enjoy it. But justice is swift at Madison Square Garden!

After that things got a little hot. For starters, two huge black dudes grabbed me by each arm and dragged me kicking and screaming up the stairs. Section 67-95 was not watching the game for shit. While I was being man-handled and kept trying to escape, Leah came to my rescue by jumping on one of the guards screaming at them to get the fuck off her girl. They grabbed her by her ankles/wrists and shoved the 4 of us in an elevator while telling us we were all getting pinched.


Now, I've been in situations before at games, at concerts (mostly at concerts) where security workers get a little overzealous. It's tough to restrain the natural human instinct to fight back when you're being pushed around for no reason. Except I think if I grill-tapped a fella and dumped a beer over his head, I'd expect some sort of security intervention. Not the M.O.B, though. No, they don't go out like that.

The dude holding me was squeezing me too hard so I bit him. I know, biting a security officer isn't that smart. But they were groping us! Long story short, Sarah is winning the Oscar for best actress this year with a performance I'd like to call "I dont know why they are treating us so mean, what did we do?!" through sobs. At one point I hugged her and said it'd be fine and through faux tears she muttered "I'm acting" - be my wife. And the fuckin' Knicks lost. Because I didn't bite hard enough through that crappy suit they couldn't prove I did it and ended up letting us go. Who could cuff a crying Sarah, really?



So from what I hear, the M.O.B girls were at this game because the company who bankrolled their clothing line has season tickets. I imagine the company would hold off on giving up those seats to these feisty chicks during the rest of "Dream Week" at the Garden. Yeah, give them the seats when the Timberwolves come to town.


When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong [MOB Blog]

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