Come Watch Mike Tyson Fight A Kangaroo

So, it's come to this. You thought Mike Tyson had hit bottom? You know nothing of the bottom, my friend. You can't handle the bottom! As part of Mike Tyson's World Tour which launches on Friday, the 40-year-old announced that some of his opponents may be women.

At a news conference at an Italian restaurant, Tyson said he would likely go just four rounds and that future stops on the tour might include bouts with women, possibly professional boxer Ann Wolfe. "She's such a prominent, dominant woman in the boxing field," Tyson said. When asked if he was joking about fighting women, Tyson said, "I'm very serious."

Just to be clear, we're in no way knocking the athletic prowess of women; we know of several right within a two-block radius who could beat us up. But come on ... this is still a facsimile of Tyson we're talking about. (Oh, and, uh, it's probably not the best idea for a convicted rapist to be fighting women. Just a thought.) What's next? Bouts against children? Small pets? The Domino's Fudgem's mascot?

"They're slugging it out in the center of the ring ... and down goes Fudgems!"

Tyson: Future Might Include Fighting Women [MSNBC]