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Hey kids, time to drag out those scissors and the colored construction paper once again, because there's a horse in trouble. No, not Barbaro; he's relaxing in Pennsylvania watching premium cable. This time it's City Affair, a race horse in Britain which was โ€” get this โ€” headbutted by jockey Paul O'Neill recently.

City Affair was being unruly in the parade ring, ultimately throwing O'Neill. The jockey got to his feet and grabbed the reins, pulling the horse to him, before lowering the butt of his helmet into it.

Yup, the video is right here. Headlines in England, of course, are all variations on a single theme: Jockey Pulls 'Zidane' On Horse. There have been other acts of inhumane treatment toward horses in O'Neill's past, according to the Daily Mail, and the jockey is to be probed. We hope with a real probe. But in the meantime, get those cards and letters in the mail to City Affair!

City Affair, you are a horse. You cannot read. These will not be read to you ...

Apologetic O'Neill facing ban for his 'Zidane' [The Daily Mail]