Cristiano Ronaldo Will Also Accept Large Piles Of Real Madrid's Cash

Just days after Kaka broke the world transfer record by going from AC Milan to Real Madrid, his new squad plunked down another $131 million to take Cristiano Ronaldo away from Manchester United. They are—how you say?—living large.

This news may come as a mild shock to Man U fans since their manager, Alex Ferguson is on record saying ... and I quote ... "I wouldn't sell that mob a virus." Also, unlike A.C. Milan, the Red Devils are not exactly hurting for cash. (Or maybe they are?) They've been repeatedly listed as the most valuable franchise in any sport, anywhere in the world. But this is what is known as "an offer you can't refuse." United paid about $20 million for Ronaldo in 2003, so it safe to say they made a good investment.

On a related note, if you're having trouble paying your bills in this depressed economy, might I suggest moving to Spain? In the span of three days, Madrid has plunked down approximately $225 million for two players and that's not even counting the money that they have to pay the two men to actually play soccer. Both could earn in the neighborhood of $10 million a year. Plus, they get siestas over there!

The good news for any remaining English fans who might have been biting their tongues as long as the Portuguese Devil was playing in the Premiership, is that they are now free to hate Ronaldo with clear, rage-filled consciences. Judging by the reaction on the BBC, the Man U faithful aren't exactly broken up about this breakup. Sure, he was a great player who scored a ton of goals and helped us win titles ... but fuck that whinging, dive-happy S.O.B.

Plus, as one fan pointed out, if someone would just loan them another $10 million they could buy Newcastle.

Man Utd accept £80m Ronaldo bid [BBC] Manchester United accept Real Madrid's £80m bid for Ronaldo [ESPN]