It’s official now: Cristiano Ronaldo’s son already has the natural impulses of a seasoned troll, at only five years old. We knew about his huge fandom of Ronaldo’s biggest rival, Lionel Messi, we’ve seen him tweak his grandma along those same lines, and we’re pretty confident Junior knew what he was doing when he told his goal- and glory-hungry dad that he wanted to be a goalkeeper when he grew up. Today’s revelation, that Lil Cris pokes fun at Big Cris about Gareth Bale’s superior speed, cements the power of his gift for agitation.
Ronaldo sat down for an interview with Spanish TV program Jugones de la Sexta and spoke about various subjects, from Real Madrid’s impending Champions League final to his home life. It was while discussing the latter topic that he offered this anecdote, as translated by the Sun:
“My son has changed my life in many aspects. I always said it was a dream to have a son, he changed me a lot.
“Sometimes he comes at home and says ‘daddy Bale is faster than you’. And I say ‘what are you on about? No one is faster than your dad’.
“And he says ‘yes but at school they told me he is faster and in an interview Messi said that he’d like to have your right foot.’ He comes up with these things and it gives me joy, he’s a kid.”
Ronaldo later went on to venture that it would be “impossible” for his son to become a Barcelona fan. We’re now expecting Cristiano Jr. to show up to the next Ballon d’Or ceremony with a Neymar jersey underneath his suit.