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Cultural Oddsmaker: Labor Pains

A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs ever Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.

With Brynn Cameron spending the upcoming season giving birth to Matt Leinart's love child, NCAA women's college basketball just got 55 percent less attractive. And some of you may think Cameron's pregnancy as shocking, given the fact that she's, well, a basketball player. Why didn't Leinart bang a cheerleader? Or a soccer player? Or someone from the swim team?

I'll enlighten: Women's college basketball players are historically the trampiest athletes out there. Most of these gals were considered too freakish (and intimdating) in high school to garner any normal attention. But once they attend college, they make up for all of those humiliating days in junior high wearing their older brother's track shoes by engaging in as much humping as possible once they hit campus. Think about it. Think about your school. Think about the hottest female basketball player on your team (who probably wasn't that hot, comparatively) and think about how she always seemed to be involved in the most tawdry sexual rumors circulating throughout campus. Even at La Salle University, I remember our best female college player, who was quite homely looking, had the nickname "Choo-Choo" due to how many times she rode Lionel "L-Train" Simmons in the locker room (in front of other players, apparently) during her freshman year.

So, I'm waking my mysoginistic id, spit-shining my speculum, and placing odds on the next long-legged lassie to to take some time off for "personal reasons." After the jump.



Alison Bales, Duke: 2/1

The Blue Devils' monstrous 6'6 center has two things going for her to become prematurely seeded:

1. She's meaty.
2. She goes to Duke.

Most men will see her as a challenge; plus, her popularity is always a good thing. No, she won't find true love, but of course, there will be that one guy from Phi Kapp who tries to take her on just so he can win the pizza bet against the rest of the house. And, honestly, who doesn't like to play "jungle gym" after a few Natty Lights?


Shay Murphy, USC: 3/1

A sassy, very approachable guard who's flashy style of play will garner her some attention. Plus, as a teammate of Cameron, she's always susceptible to feeling the pangs of motherhood knowing that a teammate is about to experience it firsthand. And with the pressure of being on the Wade's list all year, well, Shay Murphy is open for your business.


Cait McMahan, Tennessee: 3/1

The pressures of playing for Pat Summitt must wreak having on a girl. Plus, being a local little white point guard surrounded by the all-world talent the Lady Vols expect is sure to drive the freshman to fill her empty void to get her through the tough times this year.


Stacie Witman, Villanova: 5/1

No other reason to throw her on the list other than she's blonde, moderately attractive and went to Plymouth Whitemarsh High School. Plus, she has the appearance and name that seems like it would be perfect for one of those Lifetime movies about unwanted pregnancies: "Full Court Pressure: The Stacie Witman Story".


Olayinka Sanni, West Virginia: 4/1

WVU star nicknamed "Yinka" has a lot of upside this season and poised to breakout. Plus, she's playing for the Nigerian international team, which will inevitably send her to parts of the world where she will be treated like royalty. And once she becomes more in touch with her Nigerian roots can only mean a more relaxed attitude when it comes to unprotected sex. Who wants to mount the Yinka?

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