Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Damn Those Fickle Beasts: Your Guide to Ignoring the NFL Today

Rookie wide receiver Kelvin Benjamin of the Carolina Panthers suffered a concussion on his team's final offensive play of Sunday's 37-37 tie with the Cincinnati Bengals. But at the time of the hit, Benjamin was cleared by the NFL's sideline concussion protocol. No concussion had occurred, it said.


This isn't surprising—concussion symptoms onset at different times, some immediately, others are delayed, for no reason other than every brain injury progresses differently. But how is the NFL discussing Benjamin's condition? Here, this is from's injury reporting:

It's unknown whether Benjamin, a frontrunner for Offensive Rookie of the Year, will be able to get through concussion protocol in time to play this week in Green Bay. The dynamic receiver would be a huge loss if he's unable to suit up, as he is Newton's one deep threat and an extreme matchup problem for defensive backs.

However, concussions are fickle beasts, and only time will tell when the rookie will be able to return to the playing field.


Strange, since Benjamin did progress through the NFL's concussion protocol and was cleared to return to play. The more important unknown is not whether a player can progress through the protocol, but whether the NFL's concussion protocol is even capable of detecting a traumatic brain injury. For players trying to return to play in subsequent weeks, it almost certainly can. For players during a game, that's increasingly less certain.

You could watch the NFL today, or you can watch this other stuff instead.

Other Sports

2 p.m. — ESPN — NASCAR Racing

Something called "The Chase" heads somewhere called "Talladega" for the final race of something called "the Contender Round".

2:55 p.m. — beIN Sports Español — La Liga Soccer: Villareal vs. Almería

Couple of solid mid-table La Liga sides, should be a fun match.

3 p.m. — NBA TV — NBA Preseason Basketball: Boston @ Brooklyn

Brook Lopez has somehow managed to come up lame again. So, if you were really hoping to see more Mason Plumlee, here's your big chance.


5:45 p.m. — beIN Sports Connect — Athlético Madrid vs. Espanyol

This could be another solid, competitive match-up between two teams with positive goal differentials.


8 p.m. — NBA TV — NBA Preseason Basketball: Charlotte @ Chicago

If the Hornets stay healthy this season, they're going to be really good, very likely the best team in the Southeast Division.


8:15 p.m. — ESPN2 — MLS Soccer: Seattle Sounders vs. LA Galaxy

The two best teams in MLS in a primetime matchup. Should be a blast.

TV Reruns

1 p.m. — USA Network — Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

The Sunday all-day marathon. Little known fact: since 2013, Dan Florek has been reprising his role as Donald Cragen in the new, hard-hitting Law & Order spinoff Law & Order: Dan Florek's Fully Finished Basement.


2 p.m. — BBC America — Top Gear

Yes, it's true, Jeremy Clarkson is a knob. In fact, they're all knobs. But it's such a good show. Watch it for a few hours, won't you?


4 p.m. — FX — The Simpsons

The dependable Sunday mini-marathon.

4 p.m. — TV Land — The Cosby Show

Sad trivia: back in Season 1 of The Cosby Show, Cliff encouraged Theo to join the football team. Have a look at what Theo's up to now:

Illustration for article titled Damn Those Fickle Beasts: Your Guide to Ignoring the NFL Today

Tragic. Truly tragic.


1 p.m. — abc Family — Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

That's ace counterprogramming, right there.

1 p.m. — VH-1 — Dazed and Confused

You don't even want to know what happened to all the football players in this movie, guys. Pink was last seen "starring" in something called Weiner Dog Nationals, and it you think that isn't bestiality porn, you're just kidding yourself (probably).


1:30 p.m. — Spike — Twister

This is a terrible movie, but, like, a good, fun terrible movie.

1:30 p.m. — TBS — Total Recall (1990)


2 p.m. — Lifetime — The Green Mile

It's like if you took the exact tone of The Shawshank Redemption, removed the interesting characters, dumbed it down to the level of a precocious high-school sophomore, and added a bunch of supernatural mumbo jumbo.


2:15 p.m. — Sundance — Witches of Eastwick

This is one of the great underrated movies of all time. Jack Nicholson and Veronica Cartwright are fucking spectacular. Nicholson's temper tantrum when he's doing his own laundry and his later meltdown in the church are two of the very best scenes of his entire career.


2:25 p.m. — Comedy Central — Black Sheep

There's no denying this is the lesser of the two early Chris Farley movies, but it's got some good moments.


2:30 p.m. — SYFY — Let Me In

Let Me In is the American remake of a scary-as-hell and particularly bloody Swedish vampire flick. Both are really, really good.


2:45 p.m. — IFC — Jaws

Heck yeah.

4 p.m. — Esquire Network — Dirty Harry

Esquire Network follows up Dirty Harry with The Dead Pool, if you're interested in a little Clint Eastwood marathon.


4:26 p.m. — Comedy Central — Tommy Boy

And here's the better of the early Chris Farley movies. David Spade is, unbelievably, occasionally tolerable as the obnoxious sidekick.


4:30 p.m. — abc Family — Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Immediately following Part 1 on abc Family.

5 p.m. — The CW West — The Amityville Horror (1979)

James Brolin and Margot Kidder in a haunted house sounds like the greatest idea for a reality TV show of all time.


5:30 p.m. — E! — Ocean's Eleven

I really do think this is Steven Soderbergh's best movie.

7 p.m. — Chiller — Re-Animator

Horror movies are starting to show up here and there as we get closer to Halloween. Re-Animator is almost as much a comedy as it is a horror flick, and it's great for this time of year.


7 p.m. — FXM — Little Miss Sunshine

I was not a huge fan of this movie, but it's refreshingly light on offensive racist team names.


7 p.m. — TVGN — Dirty Dancing

It's astonishing to me that this movie hasn't been remade by now. They remade Footloose, for crying out loud.


8 p.m. — Ovation — A Few Good Men

Roger Goodell has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to NFL reporters who rise and sleep under the blanket of job security he provides, and then question the manner in which he provides it. He would rather they just say "thank you", and go on their way.


And so that's exactly what they do [stares daggers at Peter King].

8 p.m. — abc Family — Monsters Inc.

Keep the kids entertained while you chew on a leather belt and ignore the national primetime game.


8 p.m. — IFC — Army of Darkness

The most ridiculous of the Evil Dead movies, but tons of fun. Bruce Campbell is a goddamn hero.


Another spectacular fall weather forecast today. To hell with movies and reruns! Go make a campfire somewhere and ignore the NFL altogether.

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