Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. This is the final entry of the week, though he might be back this weekend and will definitely be back Monday.

This pained me. After three weeks of grooming, polishing, and growing, the thatch of grizzly glory that has accompanied me throughout the Super Bowl for this entire week, after a minor setback in its recovery ... had to be euthanized this afternoon.


However, this will hopefully allow me to be better disguised for tonight's Maxim Party throwdown, even though it won't have ESPN personalities present (oh, and my source tells me that Salisbury was DENIED) because they will be at their own Wingorific shindig at the Moore Apartment Building with LL Cool J knocking people out at the request of his mother.

I'm also bringing two new correspondents into the mix to come the area and better insinuate themselves into the laps of athletes, celebrities, etc. at various other velvet-roped areas around the South Beach region. Their code names are Jizz Bomb and A-Rack and will use their undeniably ample boobage to better patrol the area and tread places I dare not go — for example, Michael Strahan's pants. You will see photographic evidence of our adventures over the course of the weekend. For now, after the jump, please enjoy this Mustache Retrospective.

Farewell, sweet mouth muff.


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