Dead Letters: "Go Blow A Long Snot Out Of Your Stubby, Fat Nose!!!!"

Photo: AP
Photo: AP

Subject: Your description of the President

From: Charles

To: Barry Petchesky

Clearly you are attempting to be humerus in your description of The President of the United States. After all, pretty much everything you state about the President is fake and absolutely false. And of course if you were not attempting to be funny, ESPN would surely fire you. Then, on an outside chance, maybe you are attempting to be serious in writing an accurate journalistic article. If that is the case, you should go back to school and start over. You clearly never learned anything in your years of education. I pray you did not spend very much money for your education. As you ponder what point, in your educational process, you might to return to, I would recommend you consider 1st grade or, maybe even, kindergarten.

In His loving service


Subject: (No subject)

From: Teven Lights

To: Laura Wagner

I get so sick and tired of people being harassed for their political beliefs. If somebody is a professional tennis player, you should be asking them questions about tennis. nobody cares to hear what Hollywood or sports figures think politically. Try doing regular reporting instead of gossip column. And no im not a republican or a democrat. I don’t trust either side. But I do find it rediculous when people accuse republicans of being racist when it was the democrats who created the kkk. And fought to keep black people from having the right to vote.


Subject: Article about Tennys Sandgren

From: Ken

To: Laura Wagner

Let me start by saying I have no idea who this guy is and could really care less other than what I am about to say...

This guy, like all professional athletes, is a trained monkey paid to perform to/for the audience. I give a rats rear end about the players political views, sexual orientation or anything else other than his or her performance in the moment. And when the modern day Roman Gladiator fails, dies, is permanently injured or retires we instantly move on to the next messiah of the sport de jour. Intellect/beliefs... don’t care. “Blood & sweat on the ground” in the event is what we pay to see.

Why are his political belief an appropriate topic of conversation? I don’t pay to watch sports because I care about skippy’s beliefs. If he was doing something stupid to ruin his career during a match that pushed a political agenda... you know, like Kap... then hey, call him out. Otherwise the media should respect this guys privacy just like you have respected the privacy of Bruce Jenner.

BTW, I am one of those that is boycotting the NFL. I loved Kap as a player. He is paying too big a price for being stupid and deserves to play some where. He was very entertaining. He was an excellent commodity as an entertainer. But it bugs the heck out of me to have his political agenda crammed down my throat when I am paying to be entertained. The players can certainly protest on their own time. Just do not do it when they are on my dime.

Calling this guys beliefs into question is completely hypocritical. Please find something meaningful to report on that is relevant to sports if that is your “channel”. When you target a player in any sport for their beliefs regardless of how ridiculous they may be rather than their talent, it is just wrong.

If you read this, thanks for your time.



Subject: Tom Brady

From: Sean S.

To: Samer Kalaf

What would it be like to sniff a fart’s fart? Great start to your three paragraph entry. I too think T Brady is a fart. Keep up the good work samer. You should write a 500 word report on other quarter backs that got dubbed GOAT.


Sean S.

Subject: Profanity

From: [redacted]

To: Samer Kalaf

Why do you feel the necessity to use profanity, grow up.

Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S®6 active, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

Subject: RE: Nassar and MSU

From: Alex Jones

To: Dvora Meyers

So, you’re okay with setting fire to things and “burning it all down”, instead of holding those responsible, responsible?

Guess you were okay with the Baltimore and Ferguson riots, huh? Never mind that good people lost employment and residences due to those. I’m sure that doesn’t bother you.

How about not quoting a criminal in your article? Anyone who condones arson is, indeed, that. And, you choose to quote. Strange, really, that a reporter would advocate for crime. Actually, considering the state of the media today, not all that strange. Your lot is fine with lies and fake stories, even making up statistics (e.g., NY Times story about 12 school shootings so far this year - oops, some were suicides....but they still count as school shootings, right?). So, you know, arson, totally in the realm of possibilities for you all.

Do you ever wonder why the press is getting a bad rap, and people aren’t subscribing? Look in the mirror. You’ll find the reason.

Subject: Cheap Shots...

From: Paul P.

To: Samer Kalaf

What do you for kicks....go looking for anyone to take your frustration out on..?

Real professional jerk!

Subject: Beg to differ

From: Dax R.

To: Tim Burke

YOU are one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen.

Fucking millennial jackanapes.

Dogs > your trifling ass.

Subject: Re bagels

From: [redacted]

To: Samer Kalaf

To eat a bagel the size you’re talking about would take a mouth as big as you have. Anyone knows that Wisconsin isn’t famous for beagles nor big mouth reporters. Especially one that doesn’t know where to find a good bagel.

Sent from my Huawei Mobile

Subject: (No subject)

From: [redacted]

To: Barry Petchesky

Why do you have to be an instigater? Is it to hard to reserch a real story.

Subject: The Douche Channel Is Calling

From: Robert S.

To: Albert Burneko

Dear Mr. Okenrub Mah Penis,

The anti-Trump, liberal point of view dominates U.S. broadcast and print media, dominates current events shows, dominates Web sites like Deadspin that get their content from coverage by those outlets, dominates comments on Deadspin where little commenters try to out-reacharound each other in a daily commitment to make unfunny, negative Trump references that have nothing to do with the post and everything to do with getting themselves off… but Facebook is what largely got Donald Trump elected President of the U.S.?

For your own benefit, you need to stop writing blog posts, and establish The Douche Channel on TV, where you can be the #1 comedian.

Subject: You need to get a life, dude

From: Carrie K.

To: Barry Petchesky

Your vomit-spewing, elitist hypocrisy is showing re your article on “diaper Donald.”

You’re most likely a Harvey Weinstein clone. Get a life, man.

Writing is definitely not your strong suit but toxic waste is!

Sent using Zoho Mail

Subject: Tenny the Tennis Player

From: Unise Mendez

To: Laura Wagner

Why does the media THINK they own sports, acting, and all arts?? Probably because they do. If a talented person believes different than these libtards the pen is ready to destroy that person and tbeir career. I thank God all this is coming to an end. People see past the thin, empty, weak as weeds, liberal media now! Go blow a long snot out of your stubby, fat nose!!!!


Subject: Hey

From: Fred M.

To: Barry Petchesky

What it feel like to be a “Piece of Shit”. Commie

Subject: Tennys

From: h am

To: Laura Wagner

So Laura, now you attack Chris Fowler, and Pat Mcenroe, tennis commentators, about not discussing politics? It’s a tennis match, not a news show. They are supposed to be discussing serves, and aces, not politics and liberalism.

I happen to agree with Tennys’ views on transgenders (nobody can be trangendered. Males are males, females are females). He Said nothing bad about blacks (I am minority, myself, as is my Filipina-American wife and we both support him).

Marxism is a dangerous ideology (witness Castro’s Cuba, or Chavez’s Venezuela).

If Tennys doesn’t like Hillary Clinton, that’s his right. If you don’t like President Trump, that’s your right. He can write anything he wants (as can you), and its not the job of tennis commentators to police his writings. Their job is to discussing serving, and returning (or whatever else tennis commentator discuss).

I find it refreshing that he went against the norm, of liberal celebrities. As a conservative, I look up to him, and now support him even more.



Bismarck ND

Subject: Your article!

From: Rick B.

To: Barry Petchesky

Because of your disrespect for the office of President and YOUR President Trump, I am unsubscribing to anything ESPN related.

You sir, are a disgrace to our country.He has every right to refuse an interview with such a fake news source and scumbag such as yourself.

A sports network and journalist have no business in politics. I will be forcing this issue and pulling for you to eventually be terminated. I have already in 1 hr. have about 20 others that have read your stupid opinion.

Good luck!! You are very unprofessional.

Subject: Horse Awards Missing One Essential Ingredient: The Horses Themselves

From: 2ndFastestDerby

To: Emma Baccellieri

Wow, a horse racing article on Deadspin and all the ignorant hot take haters again come out the wood work. I’m shocked. Most corrupt sport? How do you figure? Proof please. Unlike every other sport we have state regulators breathing down our neck. High strung animals? Yes there are a few, but there are also a few insane football players. A horse named Dynaformer ate human fingers, while another horse named Sham (2nd to Secretariat) would fall asleep in your arms. Why watch it? Why do you watch football? You have no personal stake in the outcome.

Loose the PETA level self righteousness.

Disclosure: I own, breed, race, and take care of retired thoroughbreds.

Subject: putz

From: Bill L.

To: Albert Burneko

Reporter at Deadspin.