Deadspinners make their boldest, throw-reason-out-the-door predictions for the NFL season

Surprising rookies, a coach who figures it out, Pats' revenge, & the Jets sniffing the postseason lead our 'What were they thinking?' prognostications

Jon Hoefling,

Carron J. Phillips,

Donovan Dooley,

Criss Partee,

and Rich O'Malley

PublishedSeptember 11, 2021

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Just wait till you see what this guy has in store.

Thursday was great, but now, the real fun begins. Tomorrow, the NFL season kicks off for 28 franchises. There are a lot of teams with high hopes coming into the season, a lot of promising rookies, a lot of interesting storylines, but most of all, there are a lot of question marks.

How will COVID affect the outcome of some games? Will there be as many injuries to as many star players once again? Will Jameis Winston be able to keep the Saints’ playoff streak alive? When will Matt Nagy let Justin Fields take over?

This season seems more unpredictable than recent years, and that opens the door for so many of us here at Deadspin to come up with some crazy, wacky theories regarding what we believe will happen over the course of the season.

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Second-round rookies will take home OROY and DROY

Image for article titled Deadspinners make their boldest, throw-reason-out-the-door predictions for the NFL season — Image: AP

Cleveland’s Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah and Carolina’s Terrace Marshall Jr. are going to take home the rookie hardware in 2022. Both were drafted in the second round of the 2021 NFL Draft. This would be the first time since 2001 (Kendrell Bell, Anthony Thomas) that neither the OROY or DROY were won by first-round rookies.

I’ve always been high on Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah. In 2020, he won the Dick Butkus Award for the best linebacker in college football. That award has a pretty good history in the NFL. Since 2010, two of the winners (Von Miller and Luke Kuechly) went on to win Defensive Rookie of the Year. Three more Butkus winners (C.J. Mosley, Eric Kendricks, and Jaylon Smith) went on to have Pro Bowl careers. Owusu-Koramoah is in a great system and will immediately be thrust into situations where he can shine.

Meanwhile, the Panthers have a lot of weapons on offense. That makes me a little weary of how much Marshall will be targeted in Joe Brady’s system, but with how poor the Panthers offensive line is and the fact that Sam Darnold hasn’t had much time with the Carolina playbook, there’s reason to believe a lot of Carolina’s offense early this season will largely be quick slants, screens, and crossing routes. Do you know on what kinds of routes Marshall has done most of his damage this preseason? Slants and other crossing routes.

There are some hurdles in Marshall’s path, particularly the fact that voters love to give the OROY Award to quarterbacks. Just look at last season, Justin Jefferson set the rookie receiving record and still lost out to Justin Herbert. But in all fairness, Herbert set a rookie record of his own, and we should not expect any of the rookie QBs in 2021 to experience similar success right off the bat. Therefore, if Marshall can produce at levels similar to what we saw from Justin Jefferson in 2020 (yes, I know that’s asking a lot, but hey, I’m being bold), the door is open for Marshall to win Offensive Rookie of the Year.

— Jon Hoefling

3 / 7

Kliff Kingsbury will win Coach of the Year

Kyler Murray and the Arizona offense ranked sixth in the league last season in total offense and were a game or two away from making the playoffs in one of the toughest divisions in football. In Murray’s third season you’ll see a significant improvement in his consistency with playmakers like DeAndre Hopkins, Christian Kirk, and AJ Green. The defense will also make an improvement with the additions of JJ Watt and Zaven Collins. Isaiah Simmons will also be far better in his second season because of the increased familiarity with defensive coordinator Vance Joseph’s scheme. Not to mention they still have arguably the best safety in the game in Budda Baker.

The Cardinals could easily win 10 or 11 games this season and play in a divisional-round playoff game.

— Donovan Dooley

4 / 7

The Pats will blow out the Bucs, but Brady will be great

When Tom Brady makes his return to Foxboro to face Bill Belichick and the Patriots in the “Ego Bowl,” it will be the highest rated game of the regular season. Both Belichick and Brady have probably been watching film and preparing for this game as if it was the Super Bowl since the schedule came out. The Patriots will win this game by at least two touchdowns.

But, Brady will put on a classic performance and finish with a ridiculous stat line in a game where he’s let down by his teammates for not matching the Patriots intensity and attention to detail.

— Carron J. Phillips

5 / 7

Trey Lance takes over for Jimmy G, plus wins OROY

Trey Lance won’t be the week one starter for the San Francisco 49ers, but he will end the season as such. Not only will Lance take Jimmy Garoppolo’s starting job, but he’ll do it early enough in the season that he’ll still be in consideration for Offensive Rookie of the Year and win it.

With Lance’s dynamic skill set combined with the offensive mind of Kyle Shanahan, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t win OROY if he gets enough playing time. For coach Shanahan, four games will be enough of Jimmy G before inserting Lance into the starting lineup for week five against the Arizona Cardinals. It’s a road game, but Shanahan will throw the kid in there and watch him sink or swim.

I think Lance will more than keep his head above water in Shanahan’s offense and swim all the way to the ROY award and a nice playoff run.

— Criss Partee

6 / 7

The Jets will enter 2022 in playoff contention

No.

You can’t get me to go all the way out on that lonely limb… the one where I just come out and say “the Jets will be a playoff team this season.” They won’t. That’s asking too much. Buuut… come their Jan. 2 matchup hosting the reigning Super Bowl champs of Tampa Bay, Gang Green will find themselves in a rather uncommon scenario given their past few seasons (decades?) of woe: controlling their own destiny.

Spoiler alert: They’ll lose that game and the next week in Buffalo and [fart noise] that’ll be a wrap on what was shaping up to be a dream season for new head coach Robert Saleh and rookie QB Zach Wilson. It should still be considered a rousing success, if for nothing more than jettisoning a potato for a coach and bringing in a first-rounder who outplayed all the other quarterbacks taken around him in the preseason. (Blares trumpet: YES, IT IS JUST PRESEASON, BUT WORK WITH ME HERE!) A not-so-crazy-difficult schedule will also aid their push for the postseason. As will Saleh injecting his rah-rah enthusiasm and brand of D on the Jets after an abysmal few seasons of failure on that side of the ball.

The future is, for once, bright-ish? for the perennially second-rate New York football team. The big reveal won’t be this season though. They’ll just Jets it away in spectacular Jetsian fashion in the end.

— Rich O’Malley

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