Death Is Not An Option!

In a finding that should surprise no one who has every watched a sporting event, the American College of Emergency Physicians — every single organization in the country has a name that sounds fake, by the way — have discovered that male visits to the emergency room tend to increase directly after sporting events end.

[Dr. David Jerard's] emergency room saw 75% more male patients in the few hours following a Division I college football game broadcast on TV and radio than during a comparable nongame period, 50% more male patients immediately following a pro football game, and 30%-40% more following a baseball game. "Men should not risk their health by putting off going to the emergency room because they want to see the final results of a football game," Jerrard says. "It could be the last game they ever see."

That's all fine and good, sure, but did you see that Eagles-Cowboys game Sunday? Death would be worth it.

Dying To Know The Score [Broadcasting And Cable]