Jezebel’s Madeleine Davies joined me to talk all about her favorite footwear, boots, and she was all-around hilarious. At the end, she tells a story so staggeringly gruesome that I lost the ability to form words.

Here’s what I covered in my 91st episode:

• How to remove paint from rubber boots and sneakers;
• General care tips for rubber rain boots and galoshes, including how to treat bloom (those milky white patches that develop on rubber);
• What to do about grease or oil stains on leather and suede;
• What to do about road salt stains on shoes;
• An overview of how to care for leather shoes to keep them looking great for a long, long time;
• Basic care tips for suede, including the importance of using a suede protector—and of checking the weather report before you wear your suede;
• How to get dog shit off your shoes with a minimum of grossness;

Fun story about dog shit: A former Deadspin writer once sent me an anguished email that started with, “Jolie! Hope this message finds you thriving. I am not. I’m sure you’ve written about this before but I googled your name + ‘dog poop’ and could not find anything on the topic—and I’m worried about my left sneaker.”

Over in the bonus episode, Maddie and I swapped wildlife stories. You wouldn’t think that two women in New York City would both have tales of chasing home-invading animals using various forms of recycling, but life is full of surprises!

You can subscribe to Ask a Clean Person: The Podcast in Acast, iTunes, PlayerFM, Stitcher and all the other places you’d expect to find podcasts. For bonus episodes and all sorts of other cool rewards, head over to Patreon to help underwrite the show. Got Qs for the pod? Email Jolie with the subject line CLEANCAST.