How does free agency end for Derek Carr?

There are many suitors clearing space to try to jump Aaron Rodgers’ bones when he emerges from his hole, enlightened and ready to monopolize headlines. The Las Vegas Raiders are one such team rumored to be in the mix, and they just cut ties with QB  Derek Carr.

He’s a capable starter that I firmly believe could consistently make the playoffs with an equally capable franchise. That’s about where it ends for him, but still, if you’ve been bereft of a QB for decades, he’s better than Zach Wilson or Sam Howell.

So with that in mind, here are the top five landing spots for Derek Carr.

I just put in an app for a part-time serving job at Olive Garden the other day.

Derek, if you want, I can talk to the manager. You get bottomless breadsticks during your shift.

I meant from a football standpoint. No one is winning a looks-off with Jimmy Garoppolo. I doubt Jimmy G even knew Kiara Mia was a pornstar. You think guys like that have to watch porn?

Is Gruden still out of the league? Or did he find his way back in yet?

Derek is definitely the good Carr, but is it accurate to call Derek Carr good? If he was good, people wouldn’t mix him up with David.

If any quarterback not named Aaron Rodgers starts for the Jets next year, it’ll be a disappointment. Carr was on a lot of “talented” Raiders teams, too, and they were all still mediocre.