Photo: Harry How (Getty)

Let us now embark on a tortuous NFL offseason journey that includes all of our favorite dummies and involves a starting quarterback trying to challenge two-thirds of First Take to an “octagon fight.”

Raiders head coach Jon Gruden was recently asked about the possibility of selecting Kyler Murray with one of his team’s handful of first-round picks. Gruden said that Drew Brees’s success led him to reevaluate his somewhat parochial views towards smaller QBs, and that Murray was good at football. Given Derek Carr’s struggles last season and his occasionally combative relationship with Gruden, this led to speculation that Carr’s days with the Raiders could be dwindling.

Yesterday, First Take host Max Kellerman connected those dots: “Carr didn’t want it. Gruden knows they gotta move on, and the question is, can they get anything for him?” Carr did not like this, and he for some reason asked UFC czar Dana White for advice on how to challenge “a couple of these clowns on tv” to an “octagon fight.”

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This sort of reaction is red meat for the First Take crew, who of course want to find any way to squeeze some TV out of it:

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Carr then went on Mike & Trey today and reiterated that Kellerman stepped over the line when he questioned his character, noting that “I got love for the truth.” Kellerman then responded to Carr on this morning’s show, going on an extended riff about what bravery and quitting and fear mean in a sports context, invoking Teddy Roosevelt, and some other boring shit.

This feud seems to have ended in the most fitting way possible: with Carr shrugging it off by way of a chest-puffy workout tweet complete with a grainy military guy GIF. Sounds like there won’t be an octagon fight after all.

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