Diamondbacks Plunge Into The Depths Of The Seven Hells, Discover Agonizing New Way To Lose A Ballgame

If a walk-off win is exciting, and a walk-off walk is peculiar and charming, what is a walk-off walk, walk, walk, walk, walk? Perhaps something too grotesque to even imagine, let alone witness with your own eyes? Let’s find out.

The Arizona Diamondbacks led the Los Angeles Dodgers 4-3 heading into the bottom of the ninth inning of last night’s game. On came Diamondbacks closer Greg Holland, who quickly recorded the first two outs of the inning. Then, somehow, this happened:

Holland had Chris Taylor in an 0-2 hole and was one strike away from ending the game, but then threw four straight balls to walk him. He walked the next batter on seven pitches, the one after that on five pitches, and brought in the tying run with a four-pitch walk to the last batter he faced. Holland was mercifully pulled from the game at that point and replaced by T.J. McFarland. McFarland worked Cody Bellinger into a 1-2 count, and then walked in the winning run with three straight balls.

This is not what you want:

“It stinks, it definitely stinks,” said Diamondbacks manager Torey Lovullo when asked about the absolute horror show he had just witnessed. Buddy, it sure does.