Dice-K And The Red Sox: Part Of This Complete Breakfast

The resignation on Bud Selig's face, and the fact that he's packed his giant swimming trunks, must mean that he's given in and will follow Barry Bonds around for a month or so until Hank's record is broken. So with that crisis solved, we can turn our attention to happier things ... super, terrific funtime things, such as Daisuke Matsuzaka's big duel with C.C. Sabathia on Tuesday. Matsuzaka threw seven shutout innings to deny Sabathia his 14th win, as the Red Sox beat the Indians 1-0. Oh, and by the way, every pitch that Matsuzaka threw was a gyroball!* It was amazing! Sabathia (13-5) gave up five singles: One by Manny Ramirez in the fourth which drove in the only run of the game.

• This Date In Pine Tar History. New York kept pace, if that's relevant when you're 7 1/2 back, with a 9-4 win over the Royals. It was the 24th anniversary of the famous Royals-Yankees "Pine Tar Game," in which George Brett went ballistic after his home run was disallowed for illegal pine tar on his bat (the ruling was later overturned). The Yankees have scored 63 runs in a five-game span for the first time since July 26-29, 1931, according to the Elias Sports Bureau. New York (53-46), has won 10 of 12 (yay!) — against Tampa Bay, Toronto and Kansas City (wah-wah horn).

• Joy, Tempered With Less Joy. As the Diamondbacks beat the Marlins 9-3, Randy Johnson said that he may never be coming back. Oh well, at least they still have Livan Hernandez.

• Oh No! My first thought upon hearing the news that Craig Biggio wants to retire was, what's going to happen to the blog Plunk Biggio?

• Farewell Tour Begins In Grand Style. A few hours later, Biggio hit a tiebreaking grand slam in Houston's six-run sixth, the Astros beating the Dodgers 7-4.

* (gyroball may not exist).