Did You Hear The Latest Big Election Scoop?

This past weekend, I caught some evolved form of plague from my two-year-old, disease-carrying nephew. Though I’m past the worst of the illness at this point, some residual sinus pressure remains. So I stopped by the drugstore on my way into the office. It was here that I learned that Huma Abedin and Hillary Clinton are in love.

As I stood in line at the pharmacy, an older gentleman in front of me was summarizing some material that appeared to have been printed off the internet for his wife’s benefit.

“It says here that Huma’s moved in with Hillary since all this Weiner crap started happening,” said the man.

“No!” his wife gasped, apparently shocked.

“Yep, they’ve been biding their time for years. Just waiting it out. Once Hillary gets elected, they have this big plan to come out as a couple.”

“But what about Bill?” the woman asked

The man shrugged. “Doubt he cares.”

My interest was naturally piqued after overhearing the scoop of a lifetime, so I stepped forward and asked the man where he’d gotten his intel.

“Just look around,” he told me. And when I asked him if he could be a bit more specific, he explained that I should “look at their eyes when they’re lookin’ at each other. It’s like that hungry look.”

At this point, his wife had finished paying and promptly slapped her husband across the arm. The man, who I could not say with 100 percent certainty was NOT Clinton campaign chair John Podesta, grunted, and before I could find out more, they were gone.

October may have come to an end, my friends, but in this election, the surprises live on.