As Donald Trump makes the transition from rich dipshit golf club owner to rich dipshit golf club owner with a side gig as President of the United States, the poor guy has to make a number of lifestyle concessions. Now, he can only go to Mar-a-Lago on the weekend, and he’s spent only three out of the five weekends he’s been in charge of the country golfing. Everyone sacrifices for the greater good in their own way, I suppose.
The New York Times published a report this afternoon on how Trump spends his time away from the White House, and it involves a lot of golf. He’s spent one-fifth of his days as president on a golf course, where he definitely does not cheat at all. The volume of Trump’s retreats to the safety of his golf course still isn’t as intriguing as the utter secrecy that surrounds them. We know that he swung a big stupid club with Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe last week, but that appears to be the only remotely diplomatic outing he’s taken. Besides Abe, Ernie Els, and Rory McIlroy, nobody knows who exactly Trump’s been playing with because the White House won’t tell anybody:
The Trump administration does not disclose his golf partners, except for the day he played with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe of Japan and the South African pro, Ernie Els, about which Mr. Trump tweeted himself. It declines even to confirm Mr. Trump is actually swinging at a tee when his motorcade disappears behind the towering palm trees and crested gates of his clubs.
Trump’s deputy press secretary said that Trump and McIlroy only played a “couple of holes” this weekend, only to be contradicted by an interview McIlroy gave where he said that they played a full 18 holes and that Trump was a “decent player.” The White house later clarified that he “intended to play a few holes and decided to play longer.”
Trump, who is extremely good at golf, goes to absurd lengths to keep the press from seeing him play:
The White House goes to considerable lengths to keep Mr. Trump’s golf game away from scrutiny. When he plays in West Palm Beach, the press corps that follows him is diverted to a parking lot at a public library across the street. When he played in Jupiter, reporters were sequestered in a clubhouse meeting room that would have offered a picturesque view of the green, except that the windows and doors were taped with black plastic.
If you have video of Donald Trump playing golf, please send it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org.