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Eastern Kentucky Colonels

1. Robert E. Lee's spirit is on their side. Eastern Kentucky University is located in Richmond, Kentucky, site of the Civil War Battle of Richmond. The Battle of Richmond holds the distinction of being the most decisive victory of the war by the Confederate Army over the Union's forces, with the Union being routed by the Confederates and suffering nearly 5000 casualties. Oddly enough, George Mason University, last year's tourney Cinderella, is in Fairfax, VA, site of another embarrassing loss for the Union Army. Of course, in that incident, the Union only lost 33 soldiers. So therefore, by flawless logic, Eastern Kentucky should roll right through to the title this year a couple hundred times more impressively than George Mason got to the Final Four last year.

2. It's not the size that matters. Eastern Kentucky's tallest player is 6'8" junior center Darnell Dials, who's averaging a robust 8.4 points and 4.1 boards on the year. Not so good. However, their three talented starting guards — Mike Rose, Adam Leonard and Julian Mascol — average nearly 60 percent of their total points per game. That's what I call balance. But hey, you know the old saying: Guards win the NCAA tournament. That sound of whimpering you hear in the corner is heralded bigs Kevin Durant and Greg Oden.


3. You school's not as tough as the Fall Guy's team. Eastern Kentucky boasts as perhaps its most famous alum the Six-Million-Dollar Man himself, tough guy actor Lee Majors. Majors was such a bad-ass that he arrived at Eastern Kentucky after he was expelled from Indiana U. (where he was a football recruit) for kicking a frat brother's ass in a fight. Later, he would go on to hire his body out for pay, hey hey in the Fall Guy, bang Farrah Fawcett when she was at her most smokin' and bag a Playboy Playmate when he had a midlife crisis (forget buying a sports car!). — Arie Bram

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