Eddie Griffin's Criminal Climax

Because we are nothing if not thorough, digging down so deep into a story that we can't imagine how to get out, doggedly pursuing every subplot until the thread is bare, we return you today to the story of Timberwolves forward Eddie Griffin. As you might remember, Mr. Griffin was arrested for crashing his car while masturbating in the parking lot of a grocery store. In case you forgot the best detail:

Defendant Griffin was under the influence of alcohol and negligently not paying attention to the direction of travel ahead of him due in part to the fact he was watching a pornographic DVD which was displayed on a mounted in-dash DVD player, located near the steering column, in his Escalade video. He was manually manipulating his genitals which he described to a witness, after the accident, as "jacking off." DVD jackets with pornographic titles "Anal Action" and "Privates" were seen in the driver/passenger area of the vehicle. The items were viewed by the officers at the scene, whereupon they laughed.

Hee! We'll never get tired of that. Anyway, we bring all this up because Griffin pled guilty yesterday to charges of "inattentive driving" and will pay a $375 fine. He still faces a civil suit surrounding the incident, but he and the fuzz are square now. Now that Griffin barely plays anymore for the T-Wolves, we hope he continues to make such productive uses of his free time.

Eddie Griffin Pleads Guilty To Petty Misdemeanor [WCCO] Eddie Griffin Needs To Mind His Surroundings [Deadspin] Eddie Griffin's Odd Film Choices [Deadspin]