Edinson Cavani Scores 4 Goals In First Half, Somehow Still Looks Kinda Bad

Finally, the Soccer Gods have seen fit to smile upon poor old Edinson Cavani. For the Uruguayan striker’s brave and unrelenting tilt at the enormous metaphorical windmill that has been tormenting him—gusting his first touches four yards further than required, blowing wide shots that should be gimme goals, and so thoroughly eroding his confidence that what once was one of the most feared forwards in the game has become a laughingstock for whom humiliation is expected—he was rewarded today with four first half goals in PSG’s 6-0 route of Caen.

While the outcome of Cavani’s shots were different today, the larger process of his attacks looked the same. Which is to say, he still didn’t look all that great. Cavani still drifted into the correct pockets of space with that sixth sense of his that has never dulled, still met the incoming passes with determination and intensity, and, by and large, still uncorked shots that did not really look like they were going to find the back of the net.

Take Cavani’s first goal, where the wide-open forward just a couple feet from the goalmouth almost fell down before his feeble shot caromed off the post and thankfully ricocheted into the back of the net, rather than the ad boards on the other side:

His second was a penalty which, while well-taken, he looked up at right after making contact with the ball as if he was certain he had just sent it into the stands:

Nothing bad to say about the third, it was a perfectly fluid move:

The fourth goal was more like the first, the product of good movement that saw him sneak into a very dangerous area, only for him to sort of scuff the shot into the ground. Luck was on his side, for once, and it rolled into the net rather than past it:

Hey, goals are goals, and if anyone deserves a little luck, it’s this guy. Keep on shooting, Cavani. We’re rooting for you.