Emancipated Horse Ditches Jockey, Wins Race At Belmont

It is a banner day for women of the equine genus, as one proud mare cast off the shackles of man and achieved the pinnacle of her sport during today's sixth race at Belmont.


No longer will six-year-old Downtown Hottie be subject to the whips and reins of a diminutive yet selfish man, exploiting her labor for his own glory. No, sir, she is liberated and free. Free to make her own decisions. Free to gallop where she may. Pay no attention to the establishment's "official results," that list her as having not finished the race and a filly named "Wholelottashakin" having won with a final time of 1:35.58. We all know who the real winner is, and her achievement is a beacon light of hope for every mare and filly who dreams of self-determination.

Update (10:51 p.m.): It happened again, this time tonight at Charles Town. Truly this is the greatest day of the horse liberation movement.

h/t to Russ