Embrace Me, My Sweet Inflatable You

The competitive sex doll rafting community is still reeling over Tuesday's shocking conclusion to the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament near St. Petersburg. We briefly touched on this yesterday, but we want our readers to know that we are going to stay with this story, and all of its worldwide ramifications, no matter where the facts lead us. The recap from MosNews.com:

At a juries' command participants jumped into the water. Strong wind and flow snatched out resilient dolls from strong men's hands, and only Igor Osipov, 40, resolutely approached to the finish. The jury then noticed Osipov's strange position and told him to moor. When he came out of the water, gazers saw signs of recent sexual activity on the swimmer's doll. The jury found the swimmer guilty of sexual abuse of the apparatus and disqualified him.

In our opinion, Last of the Mohicans would have been a much stronger book if they had used inflatable sex dolls instead of canoes.

Participant Of Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament Disqualified For Sexual Abuse Of Apparatus [MosNews]

(UPDATE: Wikipedia's sex doll entry is some mighty interesting reading indeed).