To all the people who thought they were so clever when they made a quip about sports teams trying to sign the guy who hurled his shoes at the president—you're weren't.
Many people submitted multiple versions of what is essentially the same joke and we already posted a couple of them days ago, so you can probably stop making them now. And simply changing the crappy team in the punchline doesn't make it more original. Folks tried the Cubs, the Lions, the (baseball) Giants, the Pirates, the Bills ... basically anyone who roots for a horrible team has, at some point in the last week, made some kind of zinger along the lines of "Boy, maybe [pathetic sports franchise] should sign that guy!" Then they chuckled softly to themselves and shook their head wistfully, while everyone around them rolled their eyes and pretended to look for a lighter ball. (In my mind, this story takes place at a bowling alley.) It's the mid-December 2008 version of the "black box" joke. ("Why don't they make the plane out of that?!")
Plus, the guy is going to need all of Scott Boras' power just to get him out of whatever Iraqi prison he's currently rotting in. There's no way he's ready to report to camp by February.