What does a guy gotta do to get a college football upset?

With two weeks remaining before conference title games, there’s very little time for college football to have its weird week. The teams with one loss should have an opportunity to earn a bid with a conference title. There are nine Power Five teams with one loss or fewer — Georgia, Michigan, Ohio State, Florida State, Washington, Oregon, Texas, Alabama, and Louisville.

So who’s it going to be? Who’s going to drop the ball at the one-yard line with a free run to the end zone? Washington’s Alphonzo Tuputala did this very thing against Utah on Saturday, and it didn’t matter.

I don’t know the record for teams who have a player drop a touchdown in the most inexcusable manner possible, but I feel like that almost always goes the other way, especially in college football. If you look at the schedule, there are few landmines for the final nine candidates outside of each other.

The Huskies and Ducks have grudge matches with the Beavers before possibly each other, Georgia could spoil Alabama’s season but not vice versa, Texas is Texas, and Florida State has to deal with Florida’s corpse, and Louisville or maybe North Carolina. Three thoughts come to mind when I see that.

The first: There needs to be a way to shorten the regular season. One warmup scrub per season seems more than fair, considering the bloated conference slates in a post Pac-12 world. That will never happen because of the revenue so we’ll skip it.

My next is a repeat so I’ll make it quick. This year more than any is a perfect reason to try an eight-team playoff before a 12. It’s common sense because there’s nothing left to be gleaned from Ole Miss, Penn State, and Oregon State.

And lastly, something crazy is going to happen. It’s never this clean. It’s boring and predictable to say that, but this season has been largely boring and predictable. Happiness isn’t good enough! I demand euphoria!

LSU quarterback Jayden Daniels accounted for 606 yards and five total touchdowns in the Tigers’ 52-35 win over Florida, with 234 of them coming on the ground, and 85 of those on one play.

If your NFL team is thinking about taking Drake Maye or J.J. McCarthy over Daniels, I advise you immediately start a letter writing campaign to get the GM fired. The speed is terrifying, he’s picking when to use it better than ever, and turned his top two receivers into first-round picks.

Dear whoever dictates bowl matchups,

Please put Caleb Williams and Jayden Daniels on the same field as USC and LSU’s defenses.