Jared Dudley Brutally Fat-Shamed By Enes Kanter

Hey, remember Jared Dudley? The doughy swingman who makes the analytics crowd swoon with his sparkling net rating history? Unbelievably, the 32-year-old Dudley is still kicking around the NBA, as a seldom-used bench gnome for the doomed and hopeless and endlessly depressing Phoenix Suns, the Western Conference’s most dismal outpost; like the Orlando Magic, but in a deeper conference, and without Disney World.

You would think this ignominious position would engender a little timidity in the otherwise outspoken journeyman, but no. Last night, Dudley rose to the defense of teammate Devin Booker, who’d been ejected in the third quarter of an eventual loss to the Knicks after shoving Enes Kanter. Kanter swatted Booker’s shot, and gave Booker some of the business, and Booker reacted, and was tossed:

Kanter, a fan of escalating beef via social media, did his thing after the game:

I suppose what Dudley did next could be described as having his teammate’s back, in this hell era of eBeef:

“Fake tough guy” is a hard shot, generally speaking, but what it provoked in response is a murderous haymaker:

Out of bounds!