Ranking all 8 SEC quarterfinal teams by how annoying their fan bases are

“A cultural event” is how my aunt and uncle describe the SEC tournament, and it’s one that I had not previously experienced. They’re Kentucky fans as are my parents and basically my Dad’s entire side of the family. I knew I was a Kentucky fan before I even understood what college sports were. So when my aunt and uncle offered my friend and I tickets for the quarterfinal round, I made peace with the fact that I would probably catch COVID from a stinky Auburn fan and headed to Tampa. The beauty of tournament basketball is getting to see so many different fanbases in person, each annoying in their own special way. Having seen all 8 quarterfinal fanbases in person, I felt qualified to rank them.

The Mississippi State faithful made up the two rows behind the bench, meaning they were most likely parents of the players, and they were as quiet as a church mouse. No notes. My uncle told me that when he and my dad would go to the SEC tournament every year back when it was still in Birmingham, my grandpa would always call the Mississippi State ticket office because he knew they’d be available. Never change, Mississippi State.

LSU played Arkansas in what my friend called the “worst academic matchup” of the day. There was a decent sized LSU crowd but they were as low energy as their basketball team.

Vanderbilt fans were probably outnumbered 100-1 by Kentucky fans. They made up a couple of rows behind the bench as well as some others sprinkled throughout. There were two (I’m going to guess) Vanderbilt freshmen on spring break a few rows behind me who would scream things like “Get big!” every time their 7-foot center got a rebound. That wasn’t annoying though, just hilarious. Where Vanderbilt loses points is the fact that one of their player’s’ parents that was in the crowd just went on a book tour talking about how he’s better than Michael Jordan.

I didn’t have a single problem with any Tennessee fans themselves, but they are this high because of the band. Oh, a timeout. I wonder what song the band is going to pla- GOOD OLE’ ROCKY TOP! ROCKY TOP TENNESSEE!

Look, I never said I was impartial. I’m a Kentucky fan, so that may skew the results. Though the crowd was huge and loud, I don’t think enthusiasm automatically means they’re annoying. Though I could see how the “C-A-T-S Cats! Cats! Cats!” chants could get annoying for natural fans, the most annoying thing about them is that there were just so many. I’m trying to get into the arena, and you’re telling me I have to wait in a line of other Kentucky fans trying to get in? Unacceptable.

This list is still supposed to be more about quality than quantity. Texas A&M’s crowd was comparable in size to that of Mississippi State, but they’re this high on the list because my friend described their fanbase as a “cult.” That, and because of those guys in the white jumpsuits who I guess are directing the band, but doing it while dancing like they’re auditioning for an unannounced Magic Mike sequel.

Honestly not as annoying as I had anticipated. I never got to hear a true, high-pitched “SOOOIIIEEE!” Maybe the United Nations finally headed my emails and classified it as a war crime. They did have one chant that was a modified, more subdued “Woo Pig Sooie.” Before the game, cheerleaders handed out those quickly unraveling handheld signs to Arkansas fans. The constant opening and closing of those made it difficult to see the game. Also those stuffed Razorback hats are ridiculous.

They were far and away the most annoying and the inspiration for this list. Do we really need to do an “A-U!” chant after every made free throw? It’s only one point. The Auburn faithful went above and beyond in terms annoying individuals. One woman two rows behind us had a “WOOO!!!” that would last for up to ten seconds and be the same pitch every time. It didn’t matter if Auburn just hit a three or if it was a timeout, a “WOOO!!!” was happening. A couple of rows behind her was a college-age girl who would shout things like “C’mon Jabari!” in a bloodcirdling tone that’s hard to describe. Like she was being shanked as she was cheering. Texas A&M was up big for most of the game, but every time Auburn brought it to within 15 they would get insanely loud like they were about to take the lead. This roar of the crowd almost always led to a deflating corner three from Texas A&M which was hilarious. All these factors make me glad they lost, and that everyone at the semis will be spared of their nonsense.