Where Are All The Two And Half Men Fanboys?

Know what's amazing about this whole Charlie Sheen fiasco? That no one who actually watches Two and a Half Men seems to give a shit that it may never come back. Usually, when the future of a TV show is in doubt, you get fanboys waging massive grass roots campaigns to keep the show going. They send bags of pistachios to the studio, because the main character liked pistachios or something. And that's for shows that no one even watches. But here's the number one comedy on television, and it's been number one for years now, and I'm not even sure people who like that show have even fucking noticed. You'd think they'd be sending angry missives to Sheen to get his act together, or protesting outside CBS studios to hire Sheen back, or starting some Facebook campaign to get Scott Baio to take Sheen's place. But there hasn't been any of that.

Obviously, this is because the people who watch that show tend to be just a few weeks away from dying of colon cancer at age 87. The show resides in the same neighborhood as Leno and Idol, ambient programming that people watch because it just happens to be on. You can air reruns of Sheen's show for ages and the audience won't even notice. In fact, it was still in the Top 20 last week. People like Two and a Half Men, but no one seems to actually CARE about it. If Fringe gets canceled tomorrow (and it probably will be), there will be people sending angry letters and all kinds of shit. If Two and a Half Men gets canceled, there'll be people going, "Hey, where'd that Sheen guy's show go? Oh well. This show about the fat couple seems okay."

It's kind of amazing, that something could become so popular without ever being loved. And it makes you wonder: If the show is so eminently disposable, why don't they replace Sheen? And why did they pay him so much goddamn money to begin with?