ESPN Nukes Its Comment Sections, Unfairly Silencing Thousands Of Morons

No longer will you be able to read an ESPN.com article and then underneath receive the dumbest possible reactions to it. The Worldwide Leader has phased out its Facebook-hybrid comment sections, as confirmed by a company spokesperson this week. None of the keyboard mashing will be archived—they will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Here’s the official statement:

“Fans currently have more touchpoints than ever to voice their comments. We value their opinions, and feel that we are better able to serve them through our customer care team and our social platforms. In fact, we have and are continuing to create content for social that embraces these conversations and interacts with fans.”

This is an abomination. Chintzy Instagram memes are no substitute for jokes that were plagiarized from somewhere else, or completely indecipherable opinions on Colin Kaepernick.

Farewell to all the nuggets of wisdom that could be found by Facebook’s top power users, such as this:

And this:

And this:

Really, though, the only good thing those commenters ever did happened in the pre–Facebook comments era and required every ounce of manpower from ESPN’s moderators: Saying Tim Tebow sucked by comparing him to literally everything else.