Needs more Bluetooth.
Photo: Ethan Miller (Getty Images)

We at the Deadcast are not in the business of telling you not to care about things. We are more or less in the business of being wrong and flippant about things, but you can and should absolutely do what you want. If you’re excited about the fact that the NBA regular season begins comparatively soon, that’s totally great. It’s maybe a little weird given that the NBA season definitely doesn’t get even marginally interesting for a couple months after that, but if you care about it you absolutely should go on caring about it. What we chose to complain about, for the small portion of this episode that we actually spent talking about sports, was the overwrought, grandiose, distressingly pumped-and-jacked coverage that the league has received in the run-up to this season. The basketball’s fine. You’re fine. The showcase NBA Season Preview that deals in goony thumbnail sociopolitical analysis and weirdly heated micro-debates—that shit is just not good, and so we went ahead and got upset about it.

And that is not all! Although when it comes to sports it is honestly kind of all. There is some discussion of Robert Kraft’s froggy cameo at the Khabib/Conor after-fight and a little bit on the NFL’s worst broadcasters—a little bit on Rush Limbaugh’s implausible stint at ESPN and way more than I remembered on Joe Tessitore and the untrustable corniness of youngish-adult fans of the Rat Pack—but mostly we are all the way on our bullshit.

So that means me discussing the time I nearly stepped on a scurrying Manhattan rat, Drew postulating that Donald Trump eats jelly donuts with a spoon, and then Drew and I going extremely deep—like, Cronenbergian Body Horror deep—on how Trump eats and how he is photographed with food. I say “this motherfucker loves sprinkles” about the President of the United States and it makes sense in context. There’s a decent amount of Trump, if we’re being honest, but the Funbag did a good job leading us away from further discussion of Shitworld, including an introduction to the tantalizing concept of Oppocities, which is cities that are spiritual opposites of each other. Between that and six solid minutes on what kind of bad donuts Trump eats and how, it’s safe to say that this one is lean and on-point even by our standards. You may not care for it, but we will not judge you for that.

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