A would-be burglar is in jail in Florida, with a gash on his head, after a 65-year-old slugger named Clarese Gainey whacked him on the dome with a baseball bat when he tried to break into her car early Sunday morning. WMC Action News 5 had the story:
Gainey said she heard a noise outside her apartment and peeked outside to see a 300-pound man pulling on her car door handle while wearing only his boxers.
“So I grabbed my bat and I braced myself, I eased the door open,” Gainey said.
That’s when the 5'6, 300-pound Antonio Mosely charged her, police said. Little did he know she was a high school softball player.
After Gainey made contact, the burglar ran off, but was later tracked down by a K-9 unit and apprehended at a nearby mobile home, per the report. Gainey identified Mosley, who had found a pair of pants by that point. He was charged with burglary, as well as drug possession for allegedly having cocaine in his pocket.
“He better be glad I didn’t have a gun because I would have shot him. But this right here [metal bat] is my gun,” Gainey said, in case anyone needed further dissuasion to ever fuck with her.
For the full reenactment with sound effects (“Piyah!”), and to see Gainey’s impressive batting stance, which is better than anyone’s on our company softball team, watch the clip below.